Tuesday Tip: Taming the "witching hour" (a.k.a Surviving Dinnertime with tots)

According to Wikipedia, the witching hour is "the time of day when supernatural creatures such as witches, demons, and ghosts are thought to appear and to be at their most powerful."  If you ask me,  it's the window between 5:30 and 6:30pm when our darling children turn into whining witches and demanding demons -- just as any power I have left is officially waning.  And, if you ask them, the kids will probably tell you that when I get home from work, I can be the biggest, baddest witch of all.

It happens to all of us (or so I'd like to think, if only to make myself feel better!)... that time when late afternoon slips into early evening and the pressure mounts to slip something delicious and nutritious onto the table before the wee ones slip off to sleep.  It's a recipe for disaster -- and a really tough time to follow any recipe!  So, how do we handle it here in the Lyons Den?  Some days, better than others.  But on the good days, there are some common themes:

• Feed the hungry beast. Or, in my case, beasts.  Today, after I changed out of my work clothes and into my comfy clothes, I discovered a few grabbing goblins sneakily snarfing fruit snacks.  This is a major no-no.  I started to shout.  "No! NO fruit snacks before dinner!"  And then I thought of the cute little pack of sweet peppers I'd picked up at Trader Joe's this weekend; faster than Glenda the Good Witch, I snatched the fruit snacks, chopped the peppers, and served them up with a smile.  The moral of the story: offer up a healthy snack to keep your hungry clan occupied while you whip up dinner.
•  Keep it simple.  I like to cook (which is not to say I am a good cook!) but, weeknight dinners are no time for experimentation.  Stick to the basics and keep the fancy stuff for weekends.  Tonight's dinner plan?  Hot dogs, turkey burgers, corn on the cob and homemade cole slaw, followed by donut peaches for dessert.  Simple, summery and quick. Bye bye goblins and ghouls; hello happy campers! 
• TV is your friend.  Well, more accurately put, the TV is the kids' friend and your sanity saver when used judiciously!  Take today, for example.  It was 93 degrees and humid when I got home from work.  A game of wiffle ball in the backyard was taking a turn for the worse as the plastic bat was thrown across the yard and our trio of three-year olds started swinging aluminum.  Talk about a recipe for disaster!  Once again, I started to yell, and then I remembered the magic box inside the house -- the one that enchants and yes, one might even say bewitches our brood, bringing quiet and calm to our otherwise raucous and rowdy bunch.  After a half hour of The Smurfs, calm was restored, dinner was ready and the witching hour was over... until a new day begins, a day I hope to keep my patience, tame my inner witch and if all else fails, turn to Papa Smurf to be my savior once again!

Tuesday Tip: Parenting lessons from Jimmy Buffet

Sometimes it’s hard to resist admiring our brood in an admittedly annoying and self-congratulatory way. “They really are GOOD kids,” my husband and I tell each other with more than a hint of self-accomplishment.  And then, just as we start to get a bit too smug, we have a Saturday when we’re all screaming before breakfast followed by a Sunday that has us praying for Monday so we can get back to work and away from our evil spawn!

OMG, did I just call our dear children "evil spawn"?  Well, please forgive me but, last weekend, it really was that bad.  Ask the neighbors.  They will tell you.  They heard it all.  All of the screaming, yelling, crying and whining.  They were also witnesses when I packed up the car Sunday morning and said, “That’s it, we’re outta here!  We have to get OUT OF THIS HOUSE before someone gets hurt!”  Such is a lesson I’ve learned time and again.  When the going gets tough, the tough get going.  Going outside, that is.

Jimmy Buffet might have put it best when he sang, “Changes in latitude, changes in attitude.”  For most parents in the throes of toddler tantrums and general kid rebellion, a change in latitude isn’t necessary but a change in environment will do wonders.  Head to the park, the beach, the aquarium, the pool, the zoo.  If those seem too ambitious a plan, go for a walk around the block.  Really.  A simple change of scenery provides enough of a distraction for heated tempers to cool down.  The world outside is a wondrous place.  There are flowers to smell, birds to watch, clouds that double as creatures and creatures that I might pass by but the kids can’t help but notice… ants, spiders, even squirrels are fodder for the musings of little minds.

Getting out – near or far – opens your eyes and theirs to the world around you.  It’s a neat fix for the flaring tempers that occasionally erupt in all of our homes.  And, I suppose, when all else fails, Jimmy Buffet offers another solution… a little elixir called Margaritaville.  Maybe we’ll try that one next weekend…

Tuesday Tip: Kids need downtime too!

I've written a lot this summer about creating and following rules and aspiring to raise children who are self sufficient.  Even so, I feel like we've been battling more, I've been nagging more and honestly, that the kids are just driving me crazy!  

Truth be told, we've all been struggling with the rules; the challenge for the kids, of course, has been following them and the challenge for us as parents has been enforcing them. It's not easy to threaten "no ice cream" or "no TV" when I would love some ice cream myself and relish the peace and quiet our kids occasional TV time provides for me!

A little TV can be some quality downtime - for kids & parents!

Why oh why has this summer been so hard?  I think, perhaps, we are ALL hot and bothered.  And tired.  Really tired.  Why?  Well, let's consider what tomorrow will bring... the triplets (now 3 1/2 years old) will walk all over town -- to the library, the park, a friend's house and home again in ninety degree heat.  Our two older kids, now seven and five, will start their day at 7:00, be hustled out the door at 7:45 and find themselves in a pool for swim team practice at 8:00.  At 8:45, they will be dragged out to quickly change clothes before being delivered to day camp, where it is really big, much anticipated day; they are headed to Rye Playland, for some fun in the hot sweltering sun until they are brought back to camp for 3:00 pickup... which gives them just about an hour for a snack, changing clothes again and piling into the car to get to a swim meet which will last from roughly 5:00-7:30.  I am tired just thinking about it.  And I am 40, not under 10.  And, I will spend the bulk of my day working in air conditioning while they are out in the heat and humidity!

So, why can't they follow the rules?  Why are we so often at our wits end, yelling and nagging?  Perhaps because our kids are exhausted.  And whose fault is that?  Mine.  Mine for succumbing to the barrage of "What are you doing this summer?" questions that started before the snow even melted.  Well, ok, this year we didn't have much snow but, you get the idea! 

Society, it seems, has decided that those hazy, lazy days of summer I recall so clearly and fondly -- days I spent reading books in a tree (for real!), swimming with friends, or simply lazing about -- are for the weak. Or unambitious.  Not true.  Not true at all and, shame on me for not realizing it sooner!

Our local day camp ends in early August.  The whole town is abuzz with making plans, filling days and structuring every moment for our children.  Not me. Not this time.  For August, at least, I'm going to let my kids be kids.  I'm going to try to take a few days off of  work to just be with them.  Not "do", but "be" -- relax, see where the day takes us, be content if it takes us nowhere at all.  This "being" vs. "doing" does not come naturally to me but, I think it's worth a try.  And, while it may or may not improve the general respect for rules around here, I'm pretty sure it will dispense with some of the nagging and yelling and hopefully, ensure that we're all far less hot, bothered and tired when the school year begins once more. 

Tuesday Tip: Establishing (and keeping!) ground rules for kids

School’s out for summer and there has been an unauthorized, not so subtle shift of power here in the Lyons Den.  In the blink of an eye and a few hot, muggy days, the kids seem to be ruling the roost and I don't like it. Not one little bit.

There are shoes strewn across the living room, clothes all over the bedrooms, popsicle sticks on the porch and lollipop sticks on the dining room rug.  On the rug!  To make things worse, my demands to pick up and clean up either fall upon deaf ears or are met with some combination of "No.", "Not now Mom!" or perhaps most infuriatingly, "What?  What Mom? WHAT? Did you say something?"

Well kids, yes, I have something to say: I hope you enjoyed your brief reign of power because it is over. Over!  And how, you might wonder, do I plan to reign them in?  By putting them to work for me. By having them think about, articulate, write and enforce our house rules. That's my plan and here they are:  

To begin, I had a quiet, one on one meeting with our seven year old, the leader of the pack.  I had a few things in mind. For starters, I know I'm always more prone to remember things if I write them down so, I had him jot down our family rules after a nice, calm discussion about why they are so important to the happy, healthy functioning of our household.  And, knowing that our little ones think he walks on air (and, in fairness, they've been playing a really great ongoing game of "school" where he is the teacher), I decided that he would be the one to present the rules to rest of the kids. Truth be told, we did it together to ensure there wasn't an uprising and, it's really too soon to tell if this approach is working but I have to say, we're off to a good start.  I didn't trip over any wayward shoes or misplaced toys as I settled in to write this and that, my friends, is progress.  Should you wish to read the specifics of our rules or perhaps adopt a few as your own,please read on...

• No jumping on beds:  Well, if you ask the kids to help write the rules, it's no wonder this is at the top of this list. They hear it a lot. Especially since our three-year old triplets recently made the move from cribs to beds and have been unofficially dubbed the "mattress monkeys."  For the record, it is "jumping" not "juping" but again, if you ask the kids to write the rules, you have to expect a few spelling errors! 
• No balls in house:  Pretty self explanatory, right? This is another one they hear a lot and I'm hoping they finally start paying attention to!  
• Be a good listener:  This is perhaps my #1 gripe.  They just don't listen.  But, in fairness, they pointed out that I'm not such a great listener myself. Looks like we’ll be working together to improve our listening skills for the rest of the summer. 
• Put away your laundry.  They can do this.  At 3, 5 and 7 years old, they are well equipped to put their laundry in their drawers. It saves me time, gives them a sense of accomplishment and is good for all of us! 
• Make your bed every day. See above. This is an age-appropriate task they can all tackle.  Especially since the triplets’ “beds” are actually crib mattresses on the floor.   
• No yelling.  If you look closely, this might be read as “Mo” yelling but, that is most definitely not the intention. I suspect “no” yelling is going to be a tough one – especially since I was reminded that I am guilty of excessive yelling myself. One more area of improvement for all of us!
• No hurting others (including feelings).  This was born from the premise that “hands are not for hitting”, “teeth are not for biting”, etc.  But, I applaud our little ones for recognizing that words can hurt too -- and that it’s important to consider and respect other people’s feelings.  Gee, it seems like maybe they are listening… sometimes, anyway!  
• Eat your meals.  If your house is anything like ours, you’re familiar with the whole “am I finished yet?”/“do I have to eat that?” routine.  Our response is consistently “you are finished when your tummy is full and there is no food left on your plate” and “yes, you have to eat it. It’s what we’re serving for breakfast/lunch/dinner and there are no substitutes.” Which, I’m kind of glad to see translates to “eat your meals.” If I could add “without complaining”, I would but, beggars can’t be choosers! 
• Put your dishes in the dishwasher.  Ok, they don’t load the dishwasher like I do but, let’s face it, NO ONE loads the dishwasher like I do. I have to remind myself of that and just be grateful they are clearing their places!
•  Don’t ask for more.  This is apparently how they translated “be grateful for what you have.”  We talk a lot about gratitude – for the roof over heads, the food on our plate, our family, our friends and our health.  I hope that one day it sinks in a bit more deeply than “don’t ask for more” but for now, I’ll take it! 
• Say your Ps and Qs.  Or, put another way, “please” and “thank yous.”  As in, “Kids, if you will please pay attention to these rules, I will listen more, yell less and promise to thank you for making your bed, putting the laundry away, loading the dishwasher and more importantly, treating each other and all you meet with kindness and respect."  

What are your house rules?  I'd love know -- especially since I know this is an imperfect and incomplete list... like most parts of parenting, setting (and sticking to!) the rules is a work in progress! 

Tuesday Tip: Moving your child from a crib to a bed

I'm pretty sure this picture was taken yesterday:

Newborn triplets: Kev, Dec and Mac snuggle up together

But, it wasn't.  As it turns out, this picture was taken over three and a half years ago, when Kevin, Declan and Cormac first came home from the hospital.  They were four days old.  They shared a crib.  For months.  And, in what feels like the blink of the eye, they now sleep here:

"Big Boy Beds" aka crib mattresses on floor!

They made the big move last weekend and I have to say, it was a long time coming.  Not in the literal sense -- it's not like I spent months prepping them for the big move, reading books about the transition or frankly, designing the ideal sleep space or investing in the perfect bedroom set (as the picture will clearly attest!). When I say it was "a long time coming", I mean that our little fellas have been climbing out of their beds for a long time.  They have been asking for beds. They told us they were ready and finally, we listened.

Don't get me wrong.  They weren't unhappy in their cribs. Quite to the contrary, they loved them.  They had all their stuffed animal "friends" in there -- many of whom they played catch with from crib to crib.  They would climb out in the morning, enjoying the independence and freedom to get their own Cheerios but, much to our surprise (and delight!), they never climbed out at night.  When they were in, they were in for the night.  And we all had sweet dreams.

Then, on Saturday night, everything changed.  We set them free.  We broke down those cribs, made their "beds" with new sheets and pillows, said a prayer, and hoped for the best.  This is what happened:

If you watched the video, I hope it gave you the laugh out loud it gives me every time I look at it.  And if you didn't, you may want to.  It is pure joy.  Three little fellas, 3 1/2 years old, pushing the limits as little fellas are prone to do. They are free and they are happy.  There is no doubt they have outgrown their cribs and are ready for beds.  Just as there is no doubt that for the next week or so (or possibly more!), the bedtime "routine" will be anything but.  On Sunday night, they were so tired that they were all sweetly snoozing by 8:00.  Last night, I had to shut down a rather rowdy game that was a cross between Hopscotch and Three Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed at 9:00.  So, I suppose if I have a few tips to share on the overall transition from cribs to beds, they would be:

1. Listen to your children, they will tell you when they are ready. (Note: this same nugget of wisdom will work for potty training as well!)
2. Don't stress out about it.  If you do, they will.  And if you don't, well, did the fellas in the video look stressed out?
3. Anticipate - and embrace - a change in your bedtime routine.  Just as you did that night long long ago when your wee one first came home from the hospital and looked oh so small in that great big crib.

Tuesday Tip: Packing the family for summer vacation

I just realized that I haven't posted in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!  Why?  Well, I suppose one week was so chock full of end of school activities that I hardly had time to breathe (let alone write!) and the following week, our family took a much needed and totally unplugged week off.  Totally unplugged. I was so unplugged that when I returned to work today, the universal greeting seemed to be, "Wow, you really took the week off!  You weren't even on email!" Comments like these completely validated my need for a vacation -- and just might inspire me to start planning the next one.  But, before I do, I thought I'd share some packing tips to help you bring what you need -- and leave behind what you don't -- on your family's summer getaway.

As you might have read, I have officially declared this summer The Summer of Independence.  It's time that our kids started pulling their weight in the most literal sense.  If they want it, they have to carry it.  That's why for our summer vacation, each kid got one bag and one bag only.  One small bag that contained all they needed (and could carry themselves!) for a week at the beach.  In case you're wondering exactly what a kid needs for a week filled with sun and surf, well, it's not much.  This is a lesson I've learned the hard way over many years of overpacking.  Another thing I've learned is that Mother Nature is unpredictable and it's best to have a sweatshirt and jeans or sweatpants (affectionately called "cozy pants" in our house) in addition to the swim basics.  So, in short, here's all you need to know as you plan to pack up and hit the road this summer:

• Less really is more.  Everything our kids needed for a week fit perfectly into the little bags pictured above:
• 2 pjs
• 2 bathing suits
• 2 swim shirts
• 3 pairs of shorts
• 4 t.shirts
• 5 pairs of underwear
• 1 sweatshirt and 1 pair of sweatpants
• 1 foldable rain slicker
• 1 lovey blanket (or a "WaWa" if you ask us!)
• 1 pair of sneakers & socks (Crocs were worn in the car and truthfully, the sneakers were never worn but, if my man Liam had been called into a pickup baseball game, he would've been ready!)
• Toothbrushes/toothpaste/sunblock/shampoo/water bottle (Note: these items were shared -- except the toothbrushes! -- and carried in my bag)

• Laundry is inevitable.  Between the sand, salt, chlorine, sunblock and the possibility of throw up and/or an accident involving gallons of pee, I accepted long ago that a "vacation" does not include a break from the laundry. And that's ok.  If you approach your getaway with this mindset, you'll avoid the overpacking and perhaps even go home with clean laundry! 

• Showers are overrated.  What does this have to do with packing, you wonder?  Well, less showering or bathing means more time swimming.  More time swimming means more time in a swimsuit.  More time in a swimsuit means less time in any other type of clothing -- quite possibly eliminating the need for anything else.  But, should Mother Nature decide to grace you with a cold snap or violent storm, you'll be glad you packed those aforementioned change of clothes!

Tuesday Tip: Summer Roadtrip Survival Guide

When I mentioned to people that we were headed to Boston to visit friends for Memorial Day weekend, I was met with a consistent chorus of "All of you?!"  I'm not sure if the stunned responses were aimed at us for being brave enough to battle holiday weekend traffic with five kids in a minivan or our friends, for being brave enough to invite the Lyons Family Circus to town.  Again.

These are very very good friends.  We have been visiting them once or twice a year for as long as I can remember -- including those dicey days when we had five kids under five and would roll in with a car full of pack and plays, strollers, high chairs and, more often than not, at least one smelly child who had been sitting in his or her own stink (from either a diaper or projectile vomit or both) for hours in the aforementioned traffic. 

How do we do it?  Well, for starters, we've gotten pretty good at planning and packing -- and, we've learned over the years that rarely do we leave when we plan to, arrive when we hope to or survive any extended road trip without pulling over at least once for a roadside bathroom or vomit break. That's just the way we roll.  Here are a few tips to help you roll to wherever the road takes you in Summer 2012.

• Pack extra everything.  Or plan to do laundry. Or both.  Perhaps most of all, pack your sense of humor.  You'll need it when you're on the side of 95 with a crying kid peeing on your foot.  Or when the projectile vomit hits the back of your head. Or the bag of snacks in the backseat.  You get the idea. Family road trips aren't pretty but if you leave your sense of humor at home, they will be downright dismal!
•  Learn to tune them out.  By "them", I mean the kids in the backseat.  Whether you have one of them or five or more, they make a ton of noise.  Ours start to ask for a snack before we turn off our block.  Then it's on to a relentless cacophony of "Are we there yet?" "He's kicking my seat" "She's bothering me" "I have to pee." "I think someone farted.' "Are we there yet?" and so on.  We've discovered it can be really fun to taunt them the way they taunt you.  A few of our favorites are to:
• A. Put all the windows down when you're doing 65 on the highway so the wind literally knocks them silent or...
• B.  Blast your favorite classic car tunes (for me it's Don't Stop Believin' by Journey; for my husband it's anything Led Zeppelin) and sing along at the top of your lungs.  They will be momentarily stunned into silence upon realizing that you have a repertoire beyond "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." You can and should use this to your advantage and feel free to keep it up until someone starts to cry - which in our experience is typically well into the last refrain.
• Reset your expectations.  Remember when a bathroom break took five minutes?  Or when you'd stop for dinner and be back on the road in fifteen minutes?  Well, those days are gone.  If you've ever hit a roadside rest stop with your tots in tow, you know that it takes longer and is a far more menacing place.  Everything is dirty and everyone is a stranger-danger.  You will hold your kids close, your Purell closer and wonder how you lost a half hour of your life in a filthy bathroom. And you may only be a few minutes away from home!

So, it may take longer and there's no doubt that it's messier but, if life is all about the journey, I say go for it and enjoy the ride!  Happy travels! 

Tuesday Tip: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Savor it!

One of life's simple pleasures: Puddle Jumping!

I tend to find myself feeling a bit, well, schmoopy, this time of year.   As the seasons change and class picnics and school concerts fill the calendar, I am reminded daily of how fleeting this time with our children is; of how today's hardships provide tomorrow's humor and how, in the blink of an eye, these little ones who needed us move on, move up and move out.  

Ok, technically, with our oldest only seven, I know that no one is moving out any time soon but, I can't help but be struck by the fact that our seven and five year old are pretty much over me.  Sure, they still need me in some ways but, I'm no longer the center of their world.  Whereas they once thought I could do no wrong, they now know that I can and do.  They are smart, independent and savvy.  And that's the way it should be.

On the other hand, our trio of identical three-year olds still worship the ground I walk on.  They still occasionally cry when I go to work and routinely run to the door and jump into my arms when I come home.  They greet me each morning with a smile, filled with anticipation for the day ahead and asking as they rub the sleep from their eyes "Is today a Mommy day?"  Of course, every day is a Mommy day but in their world, a "Mommy Day" is a day I don't work.  Today, we had a "Mommy morning" and it made me realize how important it is not sweat the small stuff, but to embrace it.  Today, instead of yelling at them for jumping in puddles, I joined them.  Instead of stopping them from splashing in the tub, I simply shut the shower curtain and let them have at it.  And you know what?  It was awesome.  Small stuff; little moments; daily routines; shared secrets -- these are the wonders of parenthood.  And, as far as I'm concerned, they are passing by far too quickly. That's why I plan to seize every chance I get to...

• Hold hands
• Jump in puddles
• Look at bugs
• Snuggle and cuddle
• Sing silly songs
• Eat ice cream
• Yell less and smile more

These are the things that make Mommy Days memorable -- and the reasons why it's just not worth it to sweat the small stuff.  In the end, the small stuff will be forgotten, your small ones will be big and we'll realize that little did we know, it was some of these small things that mean the most.  Hopefully, like the day that I took the morning off to splash in puddles!

Tuesday Tip: Debunking the Mother's Day myth

Sometimes the best gifts come in hand-painted pots

I had a great day on Mother's Day.  In fact, in my seven years of motherhood, it was hands-down the best Mother's Day I've ever had.  Maybe it's because the sun was shining, it was unseasonably warm and we went to the beach -- one of my all-time favorite places.  Maybe it's because I went for a run with a good friend that morning and returned feeling energized and optimistic.  Or maybe, just maybe, it's because after several years of succumbing to the myth of Mother's Day, I've finally gotten wise to the commercial hype and colossal disappointments.  I've finally recognized that every day is Mother's Day and Moms really don't get a day off.  And, after seven years, I am finally ok with that.

Most moms don't get to sleep late, skip the laundry, overlook the dishes, or have three meals served up on a platter.  But, we do get incredible homemade cards and homegrown plants -- small seedlings in hand-painted pots designed by the same little hands that like to hold ours. These cards, plants and other pieces of handiwork are precious gifts, just like motherhood itself.  Sure it's messy, noisy, crazy, expensive, exhausting and at times, completely overwhelming.  That's why a one-day celebration could never do it justice.  After all, motherhood is a lifelong pursuit, an evolving practice, an enduring responsibility.  With that in mind, here are some tips to dispel the myth and embrace Mother's Day -- each and every day of the year. 

• Accept that every day is Mother’s Day. You can’t turn off your kids or roll over and make them go away. Trust me, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. So, on Mother’s Day (and other days as well!), I think it’s best to recall what the point really is… which is not to escape from your children and responsibilities but to embrace them. To give thanks for the small things we take for granted -- like ten fingers and ten toes or sloppy wet kisses or someone small who wants nothing more than an “Uppie”. And, if someone else offers to bring you breakfast in bed, well, that’s ok too – just don’t count on it... and remember, that any given Sunday is a good excuse for someone else to brew the coffee! 
• Recognize that you deserve more than one day a year to relax. And, it’s up to you to make it happen. While I dream of long bubble baths with candlelight and a cup of tea (or better yet, a glass of wine!), it’s just not happening. If I were ever so lucky to find myself in a warm, sudsy tub, I’m sure I’d be joined by at least one small tot… or worse, one very large dog. So, I’ve found other ways to get in a bit of R&R on a regular basis -- a book club and occasional girls night out do the trick for me; they give me something to look forward to once or twice a month, rather than some mythical day off that only comes once a year.

This year, I didn't get to see my Mom -- you know why?  She was away with my Dad, enjoying one of their favorite places... a sunny beach.  As it turns out, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree and, with my new, improved "myth-free Mother's Day" attitude, I'm looking forward to a "Girls Day" with my Mom in the next few weeks.  It will be our way to celebrate mothers, daughters, friendship and life -- and we have every intention of doing it several times before Mother's Day returns again.  Might I suggest that you do too?


 

Tuesday Tip: Be a Little Sneaky (Sneaky Chef!)

I have a kid who tends to be a little sneaky.  He often has something he's hiding behind his back and has been been known to act a bit like "Swiper" (that sly fox we've come to know through Dora the Explorer) as he swipes toys from siblings and scurries away with them.

As a mom, I don't like sneaky behavior.  Not one little bit.  But, I have to admit to being a bit sneaky myself at times -- like after dark, when the preschool drawings make their way to the trash bin! Awful, I know... you've never done that, right?

Well, I know one Mom who has sassed up sneaky into nutritious and delicious recipes that even Swiper would enjoy.  Meet the Sneaky Chef.

Missy Chase Lapine has a new cookbook that celebrates sneaky as veggies, fruits and power foods (hello flaxseed!) make their way into muffins, macaroni and even meatballs! Do you have a picky eater?  Do your mealtime mantras include exasperated exclamations like "but you have to eat your vegetables!" or "Just try it!"  If so, this is a book full of solutions for you.

Our kids are pretty good about eating fruits and veggies (most of them, anyway!) but even so, I'm all for getting in more of the good stuff when I can and I've been inspired by Missy's nutritional advice and time-saving, kid-tested recipes.  Perhaps best of all, the book includes many great tips for getting food on the table fast-- from suggestions for pantry stocking to a go-to list for grocery shopping, there are practical tips for alleviating the daily stress associated answering that omnipresent question "Hey Ma, what's for dinner?!"  Or breakfast... or lunch... or a snack!  

I think perhaps Missy put it best when she mused "It's not just about saving time. It's also about making the moments your family sits around the table more meaningful."  Amen to that!  

To try a few Missy's recipes for yourself, check out  The Sneaky Chef... and tell her that Swiper sent you. ;)

Tuesday Tip: Bringing Sexy Back

We have five children. The oldest is seven.  Clearly, we’ve had a fair amount of sex – although, perhaps not quite as much as you’d suspect given that A. I’m pretty much Fertile Myrtle and B. our last three came as a package deal. When identical triplets were revealed on an early sonogram, I nearly fell off the table.  And pretty much swore to never have sex again.

As they say, “never say never” but it took me a really long time to “get my sexy back.”  Truth be told, I’m not 100% sure it is back.  Or that I ever really had it at all.  I have curly hair, freckly skin and a big smile.  On a good day, I might be cute.  But sexy?  I’m not so sure.  Sexy women usually have sleek hair, smooth skin and a sultry stare.  Or maybe that’s just what the media would have us believe.  Maybe sexy really does come in all shapes and sizes.  And maybe, just maybe, cute is my kind of sexy. 

Knowing as I do from a whole lot of candid girl-talk, I’m not the only one who has struggled to “get my sexy back” after having children so, having been inspired by the good folks at ParentsConnect and, in the spirit of sharing, here are a few things that actually do make me feel sexy – in a confident, sassy, cute kind of a way.  And, a few that most definitely don’t.

·      Exercise.  If you ask me, looking good is all about feeling good and feeling good – physically and emotionally – is all about exercise.  If I feel fit and trim, I feel great, inside and out.  And if I’m feeling great, there’s a much better chance that I’ll be interested in getting some sexy on.  Let’s face it, no one feels good putting on their “Mom jeans”; we all have those days when nothing else will fit but, if you ask me, a good run or challenging yoga class is the perfect start to getting your sexy back and putting your Mom jeans away. Forever.

·      Shave your legs.  Frankly, nothing kills the mood more than your leg hair entangled with his. Need I say more?  I didn’t think so but, since I’m prone to ramble, I will add that moisturizer is a plus and, lest I put too fine a point on it, stubble is a real buzz kill in the sexy lane.

·      Wear nice underwear.  And be comfortable in it.  I had my days in thongs. Those days are gone.  Today a thong doesn’t make me feel sexy; it makes me feel fat and like I have a wedgie.  Push up bras don’t work either; they are an awkward, uncomfortable reminder that I have nothing to push up!  The moral of this underwear tale? Find what works for you -- what makes you feel good, comfortable, confident and yes, perhaps even sexy.  And then buy it, wear it and flaunt it.  While you're at it, throw away those super-sized granny panties you bought when you were pregnant. You’ll be glad you did.

·      Drink wine.  Ok, this may not be for everyone but it works for me.  One glass of wine relieves the tension of the day and creates possibilities for the night.  Of note, beer does not have the same effect for me; beer equals bloat and bloat tends to lead to the bathroom, not the bedroom. For the record, most cocktails are a no-go for me too.  Sure they are yummy but just one seductively delicious Cosmo and I am one drunk skunk.  Not so sexy. 

·      Sleep.  Being well rested is probably the ultimate tip for getting your sexy back… and, daily proof that I’m not quite there yet!  Many moms operate in a state of sleep deprivation for months, if not years.  Given the choice, I suspect many would choose sleep over sex in a heartbeat. Sleep is all powerful and, once you get enough of it, you will be too.  And that my friends is very sexy indeed. 

Tuesday Tip: Sometimes Daddy knows best

I've been away for a few days now, living out my own "Lucky One" adventure while my dear husband has been manning the fort -- quite literally, I suppose -- since I left on Friday afternoon, artfully juggling five kids, their weekend activities and his responsibilities at work.  Here's what I've learned as I've kept in touch from afar:  sometimes, Daddy knows best. And oftentimes, Mommy makes things more complicated than they need to be.  Here are three great examples:

1. Let them wear what they want.  The weather in the Northeast has hit unseasonable, record highs in the days I've been gone.  And from the photos I've seen, the kids have been thrilled to wear shorts and flip-flops.  And pajamas without tops. Knowing myself as I do, I suspect I would have started a battle about the flip-flops, making the rational argument that it's hard to run/play soccer/get from Point A to Point B when you're a three-year old in flip flops.  And, I would have urged them to wear shirts with their pajamas, for fear they'd catch a chill in the middle of the night. As it turns out, in both cases, I would have been wrong, causing yet another unnecessary fuss.  As it turns out, they wore their flip-flops and lived to tell about it and slept as snug as bugs in a rug, with or without shirts.  Score one for Dad.
2. Leave the luggage at home.  Here's what I usually take a for a typical Saturday involving soccer, baseball and birthday parties:  5 juice boxes, 5 water bottles, about 25 snacks, a change of clothes in case a three-year old triplet piddles in his pants, sunblock, wipes, tissues, Purell and a few BandAids, just in case.  Here's what the Dad packed for his weekend adventures with our tykes: nothing.  Nothing!  Ok, maybe a water bottle for the kid playing soccer but that's pretty much it.  And you know what? They all survived! Score two for Dad. 
3. Roll with it.  Before the breakfast is cleared away, I start to fret about what we'll have for lunch and dinner. Before my coffee is consumed, my mind has planned the minutes of our day -- every day.  The Dad does not work this way.  This can sometimes infuriate this Mom.  But, with some distance between us, I see once again the magic of his ways, the delight of a few unscripted days.  There was impromptu pizza for lunch and a late nap at 4:00.  There was no dinner plan but somehow it all came together.  The kids were happy, clean and fed.  Perhaps not on "my" schedule or in "my" way but, at the end of the day, well, they had a great day.  Several of them in fact. Score three for Dad!

I've learned once again that "my" way isn't necessarily the only way or at times even the "right" way.  This Dad really knows what he's doing.  So much so that this Mom just might start planning her next trip!

Tuesday Tip: Let them eat cake!

Our sweet Kevin enjoying a sweet treat at an early age

With the confluence of Easter and Passover last weekend, the sugar level of our nation's children must have hit an unprecedented high.  Between the Easter baskets and Passover treats, goodies were everywhere.  In our house, we had three rounds of sugar highs. 

The first occurred on Saturday morning, during our neighborhood egg hunt.  In what has become an annual tradition, my friend Cate magically transforms her yard into an Easter wonderland that is inevitably pillaged by a dozen egg-seeking children on a sugar mission.  These lovely children, all the best of friends, turn into egg-crazed enemies as they scramble to see who can gather the most. Of course, it's not all bad -- in fact, it's really not back at all.  The big kids help the little kids; the grown ups mix and mingle over coffee and a few treats of our own; and on a sunny spring Saturday, it's a Norman Rockwellian kick-off to our Easter weekend.

The second sugar-fueled frenzy occurred at a family affair on Saturday evening.  This time, cousins turned against each other in an effort to find the most yellow eggs -- ah yes, the yellow eggs had the most coveted treasure of all.  Each of them contained that rarest of treats that can only be found once a year -- the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Egg.  This, and this alone, was enough to turn our tiny tots into mighty warriors as they wrestled each other to the ground in search of this seasonal delight.

Last but not least, there was the Easter morning scramble as our kids jumped out of beds, climbed out of cribs, raced down the stairs and squealed with delight upon discovering that the Easter Bunny had indeed made a visit to the Lyons Den, delivering five baskets filled to the brim with more tasty treats -- jelly beans, chocolate eggs, Peeps, and of course, a chocolate bunny. As ten shining eyes looked up at me and one tiny voice asked "Ma, can I have one?  Can I have a jelly bean?"  I said yes. 

I said yes to jelly beans before breakfast.  Just as the day before I'd said yes to lollipops before lunch and M&Ms before dinner.  I figure that if I keep saying yes, maybe next year, the sugar-fueled frenzy will be well, just slightly, less frenzied.  If I keep saying yes, maybe they will learn to enjoy all things in moderation; maybe they will learn it's not necessary to eat their weight in sweet treats during Easter weekend.  Or Halloween.  Or Christmas.  Or birthdays... which leads me to cake, and the moral of this story.  Let them eat candy; let them eat cake.  Let them be kids and enjoy the simple pleasure of a savory sweet.  And ideally, teach them not to mow down their friends and cousins during next year's egg hunt! 

Tuesday Tip: Lower standards = happier mom

Last week we had to get all five kids out of the house by 7:45 not once, but twice.  I realize that for some folks, this wouldn't be a big deal but around here, we're used to operating in shifts, especially in the morning.  The first shift belongs to Liam and Ciara and lasts from roughly 6:45-7:30; during this time, they are roused from bed, hastily fed and hustled out the door for the school day ahead.  Shift Two starts at roughly 7:31, when Kevin, Declan and Cormac bounce down the stairs, into their chairs, and demand some cereal with a lot of fanfare.

This two-shift approach works extremely well for us -- it's our solution to managing morning chaos -- but last week, on the days we had to get them all up and out for an early school play and class breakfast, all bets were off.  Despite our bad habit of routinely arriving places at least 15 minutes late (see my recent post about the 10:45 mass!), we actually got to the school on time.  In fact, we were even a few minutes early!  As folks straggled in, one after another said something like "OMG! I can't believe you beat us here! We barely made it out of the house and we only have two kids.  How did you ever get out the door so early with FIVE of them?!"  The answer?

We didn't feed them.  Well, we fed Liam and Ciara, that seemed only right -- especially on the day of the school play.  But our trio of three-year olds didn't have breakfast.  Sounds crazy, right?  But really, it's not.  We fed them eventually.  We knew that the 8:00 play would be over by 8:30 and indeed it was.  And our little fellas were at the kitchen counter with a bowl of cereal by 8:45.  Were they hungry?  Sure.  But,I assure you they were no worse for the wear by eating an hour later than usual and, on the upside, we were on time for Liam and Ciara's big days -- a rare occurance which didn't go unnoticed!

It was these experiences that led me to realize that I've lowered my standards.  Just a bit.  I have strong perfectionist tendencies that I actively battle on a daily basis but I think this admission of not feeding our kids breakfast is not only evidence, but potentially good shareable advice.  Relaxing your standards a bit just might make for a happier mom and I think will definitely make for happier kids.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for having your kids skip meals, I'm pretty sure there's another mom in the press these days whose cornered the market on that one! (Here's a bit about that in case you missed it: Mom puts 7-yr. old daugher on diet).  In any case, now that I'm juggling so much at home and at work, I find that I'm accepting things I might not have before and going with the flow a bit more; maybe it's going too far to say that I've truly lowered my standards but, in the spirit of sharing, here are a few more examples I think you'll relate to and hope will give you a chuckle.

• Snot on sleeves: ok.  Snot on walls, not so much. To elaborate just a bit, I used to yell at the kids for wiping their noses on their sleeves.  Then they started wiping them on the walls.  Our house doesn't have a hall of fame; it has a wall of snot.  In retrospect, using a sleeve as tissue seems a pretty good alternative.
• Better late than never.  This applies to church, most social gatherings and thank you notes.  Speaking of which, I just found a pile of notes Liam wrote after his birthday in November.  If you're waiting for one of these, well, I'm sorry, you may be waiting a bit longer but I promise to make it to the post office before his next birthday.
• There are more than four (or five?) basic food groups.  The new one that we've embraced (though pre-kids swore we wouldn't!) is the group that includes chicken nuggets and Mac&Cheese.  This is a staple now and that is a-ok.
• Bathing is overrated. I'll give you that on some days, a bath is a requirement -- if there is mud, blood or an abundance of the aforementioned snot, a bath is a very good idea.  If not, well, there's always tomorrow.  And in our house, there's an excellent chance tomorrow might include mud, blood or snot!
• Life is not a fashion show. Though it pains me at times, I've stopped fighting with the kids over what they wear. So, if you see the triplets in shorts on a cold, blustery day or wonder if Ciara has gone color-blind or Liam only owns Yankee shirts, well, you'll know that they dressed themselves and I am giving myself a pat on the back for not sweating the small stuff.  Which is probably the best tip of all!

Tuesday Tip: Controlling the clutter

We're selling our house.  I don't know where we'll go when someone buys it but, unless someone buys it, well, we'll have no place to go!  That, I suppose, is the the true conundrum of the second time home buyer.  Another is what to do with all the crap (did I say that? I meant "stuff"!) one naturally accumulates as the years pass by; in our case, this "stuff" includes a whole lot of baby gear, preschool paintings, kindergarten homework, naked dolls and trucks without wheels. I thought I'd been good about weeding through it but, the cleaning frenzy of the past week has proven me wrong.  Fortunately, I have some great friends with great ideas for keeping a clutter free home... and, as it turns out, you don't need to be planning a move (or even the Open House that is keeping me up at night!) to get your house in order.  Spring is the perfect time for sprucing up and with these tips in mind, your home just might be neat and tidy all year long.

1. Don't be sentimental about your "stuff."  I have a client who has a real knack for keeping things neat.  We had the pleasure of having lunch a few weeks ago and she shared some of her tips for keeping her home and kids organized.  In a nutshell, don't get emotionally attached -- whether it's Junior's first math homework or that sweater you "just know is coming back", it's time to let it go.  Junior will have many more math assignments and the odds are good that the sweater will never be "in" again... and if it is, well, go splurge on a new one!
2. Have a charity of choice and give generously.  Big Brothers, Big Sisters happens to be one of mine and, since they send a pick up crew if I call in advance, it makes giving a piece of cake.  They visit our humble abode several times a year and are happy to cart away the clothes, toys, books and household items that are gently used and, no longer used. Giving is twice as nice when helping others leads to a clutter-free home. In thinking of your charity of choice, consider local hospitals, women's shelters, daycare centers and even school fundraisers.
3. Have a large supply of trash bags and fill frequently.  I thought we were good at this but the items unearthed in our basement and on our back porch would suggest otherwise.  Broken strollers, games with missing pieces, books with missing pages, stuffed animals that have long been forgotten and are too "loved" to be accepted by any charity of choice.  All of these belong in a trash bag on the curb. And now, that's where they are!
4. Save selectively.  Let's face it, you can't throw it ALL away.  So, create a smart system for saving just a few things each year.  My tough-love pal who encourages routine purging and discourages an emotional attachment to "stuff" admits there are some things you just need to hold onto... report cards, class pictures, those first handprints, a few prized pieces of "art."  Every year, she creates a folder for each of her children and, like the finest of curators, she keeps only the most prime pieces.  When the kids are grown, they will each have about a dozen neatly organized folders full of gems to look back on... and, I suspect they will be feel extremely sentimental when they do!
5. Organize stylishly.  If you must have some clutter (and let's admit it, we all do!), why not make it look good?  I have an array of "Memory Boxes" from Exposures that look great and store easily; there's one for each kid and they are already finding joy in their walks down memory lane.  I also like to use pretty file folders -- somehow putting the bills in a pretty paisley file that says "Pay Me" makes the task slightly less daunting.  For more great ideas on keeping clutter controlled (and possibly even cute!), visit Buttoned Up. I just did and was quite pleased to find an article on getting organized for a move.  So, should we actually sell our house, I will know what to do next!

Nothing says good morning like a "Mommy Muffin"

On the first Friday of every month, our second grader has a "store" in his classroom at school. The objective of this store is to help the kids understand dollars and sense -- and I do mean "sense" versus "cents."  The intention is to teach them about the value and cost of goods; to reinforce math skills while starting to impart an understanding of supply and demand.  Each child is expected to show up on this designated Friday with some items from home that they will "sell" to their classmates in an open exchange while they shop and "pay" for goods with play money.  It's taken me a few months to come around to it but I finally understand what they're trying to accomplish and applaud the effort to teach simple math, economics and values all in one.  The challenge, of course, is that the first Thursday night of every month, roughly five minutes before bedtime, there is an exchange that goes something like this:

2nd grader:  "MOM!  I need stuff to sell in the store tomorrow!"

Me:  "Why are you just thinking of this now?! You've had a month to think about this!"

2nd grader: "But Mom, I NEED some things I can sell NOW!  How about these books?"

Me:  "No."

2nd grader: "How about these cars I don't play with anymore?"

Me: "No." 

2nd grader: "How about some legos?"

Me: "No, no, NO!"

This typically carries on for a bit longer while the poor kid scurries around stealing toys and books from his siblings with the intention of "selling" them in school the next day. It's not good.  So, after yet another unpleasant exchange last night, this morning I decided to emulate some of the Super-Moms I know are out there and have been baking yummy little morsels for their second graders to sell on the first Friday of every month.  I was up and at it at 6AM, baking these tasty little "Mommy muffins" that I hope make my little fella feel like a champ as he rings up his proverbial cash register.  We call them "Mommy muffins" because my Mom used to make them for us and, at forty years old, the smell of a warm Mommy Muffin still warms my heart.  If you'd like to warm some little hearts of your own on the first Friday or any other day of the month, here's a recipe that's sure to please:

MOMMY MUFFINS

2 cups of flour

1 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder (note: it's POWDER, not SODA -- I made that mistake this morning and had to start over!)

1/4 teaspoon of salt

2 tablespoons of butter, melted and cooled

1 cup of milk

1 egg

1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 400 and grease muffin pan.  Sift flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a large bowl.  Combine milk, egg and vanilla in a separate bowl; add in melted butter.  Create a well in the center of the flour mixture and pour in milk mixture, stirring quickly to combine.  Spoon into muffin pan, bake for 18-20 minutes, enjoy the warmth and yumminess of a mommy muffin right out of the oven!