Tuesday Tip: Kids need downtime too!

I've written a lot this summer about creating and following rules and aspiring to raise children who are self sufficient.  Even so, I feel like we've been battling more, I've been nagging more and honestly, that the kids are just driving me crazy!  

Truth be told, we've all been struggling with the rules; the challenge for the kids, of course, has been following them and the challenge for us as parents has been enforcing them. It's not easy to threaten "no ice cream" or "no TV" when I would love some ice cream myself and relish the peace and quiet our kids occasional TV time provides for me!

A little TV can be some quality downtime - for kids & parents!

Why oh why has this summer been so hard?  I think, perhaps, we are ALL hot and bothered.  And tired.  Really tired.  Why?  Well, let's consider what tomorrow will bring... the triplets (now 3 1/2 years old) will walk all over town -- to the library, the park, a friend's house and home again in ninety degree heat.  Our two older kids, now seven and five, will start their day at 7:00, be hustled out the door at 7:45 and find themselves in a pool for swim team practice at 8:00.  At 8:45, they will be dragged out to quickly change clothes before being delivered to day camp, where it is really big, much anticipated day; they are headed to Rye Playland, for some fun in the hot sweltering sun until they are brought back to camp for 3:00 pickup... which gives them just about an hour for a snack, changing clothes again and piling into the car to get to a swim meet which will last from roughly 5:00-7:30.  I am tired just thinking about it.  And I am 40, not under 10.  And, I will spend the bulk of my day working in air conditioning while they are out in the heat and humidity!

So, why can't they follow the rules?  Why are we so often at our wits end, yelling and nagging?  Perhaps because our kids are exhausted.  And whose fault is that?  Mine.  Mine for succumbing to the barrage of "What are you doing this summer?" questions that started before the snow even melted.  Well, ok, this year we didn't have much snow but, you get the idea! 

Society, it seems, has decided that those hazy, lazy days of summer I recall so clearly and fondly -- days I spent reading books in a tree (for real!), swimming with friends, or simply lazing about -- are for the weak. Or unambitious.  Not true.  Not true at all and, shame on me for not realizing it sooner!

Our local day camp ends in early August.  The whole town is abuzz with making plans, filling days and structuring every moment for our children.  Not me. Not this time.  For August, at least, I'm going to let my kids be kids.  I'm going to try to take a few days off of  work to just be with them.  Not "do", but "be" -- relax, see where the day takes us, be content if it takes us nowhere at all.  This "being" vs. "doing" does not come naturally to me but, I think it's worth a try.  And, while it may or may not improve the general respect for rules around here, I'm pretty sure it will dispense with some of the nagging and yelling and hopefully, ensure that we're all far less hot, bothered and tired when the school year begins once more. 

Tuesday Tip: Inspire Independent Children

For today's "Tuesday Tip", I thought I'd share some thoughts that I first published on The Huffington Post on empowering our five kids to be more independent.  With summer upon us, the mere notion of spending the next few months lugging beach towels, beach toys, water bottles, snacks, sunscreen, hats, swim shirts and so on made my (admittedly aging!) back started to ache.  So, I decided that this will be the "summer of independence" -- the summer that the kids take on more so I can (in the most literal sense!) take on less.  Here's how we plan to do it -- think of this as a three-part memo to the little people of the "Lyons Den."

1. We've dabbled in the past in the genius of the National Parks "Carry In/Carry Out" policy. This summer, we are not dabbling; we are adopting and enforcing it. "Carry In/Carry Out" will apply to any item (think of all the aforementioned items plus baseball cards, Legos, dolls, books, etc.) transported to the minivan, backyard, front porch and all other locales. Should you "carry in" and neglect to "carry out", you will lose the object/s in question indefinitely and be subject to a fine. For real. And not just a penny -- this could be up to a quarter, my dear little people!
2. You want it? You get it! This mom is a waitress no more! This ground-breaking rule will apply to glasses of water, apples and other approved snack items and beverages. Of note, it will not apply to cookies, chips and ice-cream; they will still require approval (and potentially assistance, since we don't want to lose a kid in the freezer!) and must be approved by management (a.k.a. Mom or Dad).
3. You need it? You carry it. This just might change the subtle curvature in my spine that has resulted from not only carrying triplets, but carrying their associated stuff and siblings! This summer, if you need a beach towel, it will go in your backpack. If you need to return a library book, you can take it in your book bag. You get the idea. This is about you doing some of the heavy lifting so this mom literally has a lighter load. 

With these tips in mind, I hope you have a lighter summer, in every sense of the word!

Summer Vacation

We waited a long time for our summer vacation this year and boy, was it ever worth the wait.  The week before Labor Day was a sun and surf filled week away from work, home and our typical daily responsibilities.  As I look back on our blissful getaway, I'm reminded of a few more things that I love about summertime... and, about our "Cubs"...

Outdoor showers -- whether it's the sun or the stars shining down upon you, few things are more freeing than an outdoor shower.  Not to mention, with five sandy kids, it really simplifies the post-beach routine!

Sunsets.  Nothing beats sunset at the beach.  It's the perfect punctuation mark to a day filled with sun, fun and sandcastles.  And, it is quintessential summertime -- the kids are up past their bedtime, they may still have salty, tangled hair... they may eventually just go to bed that way... and, that's ok!

Relaxing.  And not necessarily in the literal sense of the word since there is little relaxing to be done when you hit the beach with five tots running in five different directions.  But, when we're on vacation, we tend to relax the rules a bit and, as it turns out, this is good for everyone.  It's ok if the kids watch some TV before breakfast.  It's ok if breakfast includes a typically-forbidden sugar cereal and/or donuts.  It's ok if naps get skipped in favor of lingering a bit longer on the beach.  It's ok if there's no veggie with dinner and it's ok to wait 'til tomorrow to fold the laundry or empty the dishwasher. This is what vacation is all about.

Exploring.  Whether it was searching for seashells or wowing at whales, each day contained some new adventure.  Des tried surfing (braving hurricane force waves in a noble attempt!), I tried paddle boarding and the kids made discoveries big and small... hermit crabs, the aforementioned outdoor shower and one of their Mom's perennial summer favorites: Sundae School (http://www.sundaeschool.com/store_orleans.asp)

Exhaling.  Literally just letting it all out. Taking deep breaths, inhaling the salt air and exhaling all the angst that builds up each day... each day until we are lucky enough each year to return to the Cape.  To the place we came individually as kids and now come together with a family of our own.  The place we got engaged. The place that we love. 

It's hard to believe that we've only been home for a week -- it's been a whopper of a week... back to work, back to school, and back to reality.  As anticipated, the memories will last a lifetime and the pictures will provide smiles for months -- and years -- to come.

So long, Summer of Peril!

It’s hard to believe that the summer has gone so quickly. I remember thinking over Memorial Day Weekend that this summer would likely be recalled as the “Summer of Peril.”  What other way was there to consider the hazy, hot, humid days that streteched ahead through Labor Day... days that would be filled with poolside ventures , backyard barbecues and beachy weekends attended by my own personal set of Backyardigans – a full set of five that included only one swimmer (which is a flattering description of Liam ‘s ability though fortunately, he does keep himself afloat!), one pink-Croc wearing sprinter, and three toddlers, in the most literal sense of the word. As I look back on Summer 2010, I realize (once again) just how lucky we are.


To provide you with just a quick rundown… there were consistently little Lyons Cubs running into the street as we chased them shouting “No, no! No, no, no!” … which, of course, they interpreted as “GAME ON!” and ran all the faster. Then there were the backyard barbecues… “HOT!” we’d yell as they approached the fiery grill with outstretched hands. And we can’t overlook the stairs, inside and out, that were tumbled down repeatedly, resulting in lumps and bumps and frequent use of the “Boo Boo Bunny.” There were snack drawer invasions, toilet bowl fishing expeditions, crib climbing and table dancing. There were falls from bikes and trikes and trips from tree roots and uneven sidewalks. There was one impressive bee sting, millions of mosquito bites, a case of strep throat, a few ear infections and the realization that one of our car seats has a curse – whoever sits in it inevitably pukes. So, of course, to keep things fair, we rotate the kids in that seat so that everyone gets their fair share of puking. Thoughtful, right?


Then there’s the challenge that the pool and beach present. We made it to Labor Day with nary a scare despite the triplets tottering at the water’s edge for months. And then it happened. On the unoffical last day of summer, we let our guard down. In the blink of an eye, two of our tots ended up in the deep end of my parents’ pool, bringing all our fears of the Summer of Peril front and center. Thank God that in the next blink of an eye my Dad and brother-in-law fished them out. Thank God that they were only shaken up and not physically harmed. And, thank God that the Summer of Peril is finally behind us!


I am so ready to put away the Crocs and pull out the sneakers. Needless to say, I’ve already packed away the swimsuits and located the snowsuits. I’m really looking forward to Fall adventures that I hope will include apple picking and pumpkin carving and who knows, maybe even lighting a fire in the fireplace… although, maybe that should wait just a bit longer… I don’t think my nerves are ready for an Autumn of Peril; instead, I’m hoping for a Fall with few falls, frequent laughs and a continued sense of gratitude for our mischievous little Cubs.

The Simple Joys of Summertime

When I got up this morning, I realized that August is almost upon us. How can this possibly be?! I have noticed that it’s getting dark a bit earlier and there is an abundance of “back to school” catalogs in my mailbox but even so, I find it hard to believe that we only have a month left of true, school-free, care-free summertime. With this in mind, I thought I’d share my thoughts on summer’s Top 10 most enjoyable aspects…


1. Getting kids dressed in shorts, t-shirts and crocs. No messing around with socks, sweaters, jackets, hats, gloves or boots. Although, lest you were wondering, we do still stick to the standards like undies or diapers… hopefully not much longer on the diapers though!


2. Blueberries, strawberries, peaches, nectarines, watermelon, tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots. Fresh, flavorful and enjoyed by all. Enough said!


3. Fireflies. Or, as the triplets so joyfully exclaim, “Fy-Fies! Fy-Fies! Fy-Fies!” I think they can really relate to the “catch me if you can attitude” since it’s one of their favorite games to play with me.


4. Thunderstorms. The good ones with lots of lightening and big loud booms. They can be enjoyed in equal measure on the front porch with a glass of wine or hiding under the covers, comforting any one (or five!) of our little “Cubs.”


5. Easy entertaining… wanna come over? Great – let’s see what’s in the fridge… Burgers? Dogs? Beer? Lemonade? It’s a party! And it really is just that easy.


6. Sun, sand, salt water, swimming pools. Splendid!


7. Vacation anticipation. We’re not going away until almost Labor Day but, I’ve been day- dreaming about lazy days on the Cape for a while now… when the going gets tough, my mind goes to Cape Cod and is calmed by the knowledge that a full week of work-free fun-filled days lie ahead. I can’t wait. And, I know there will be memories to power me through the year ahead as I await the next break from the daily grind.


8. Iced tea, iced coffee, ice cream, ice pops, Italian ice… and, the perfect photo ops that they create with five sloppy, sticky, satisfied, smiling faces.


9. Sundresses. Comfortable, cute, cool and versatile. Dress it up, dress it down. You’re good to go!


10. The ability to take it all outside. Walking, running, biking, and yoga. Reading, writing, even working. Eating, drinking, socializing, sitting, sometimes even sleeping. The constant opportunity to enjoy life al fresco is a gift that I’m especially grateful for after the long cold snowy winter that is an increasingly distant memory yet I know will soon be replayed.


So, with August about to begin and school days looming not far behind, I’m looking forward to enjoying another month of all that summer has to offer... and hope that you do too.