Tuesday Tip: Inspire Independent Children

For today's "Tuesday Tip", I thought I'd share some thoughts that I first published on The Huffington Post on empowering our five kids to be more independent.  With summer upon us, the mere notion of spending the next few months lugging beach towels, beach toys, water bottles, snacks, sunscreen, hats, swim shirts and so on made my (admittedly aging!) back started to ache.  So, I decided that this will be the "summer of independence" -- the summer that the kids take on more so I can (in the most literal sense!) take on less.  Here's how we plan to do it -- think of this as a three-part memo to the little people of the "Lyons Den."

1. We've dabbled in the past in the genius of the National Parks "Carry In/Carry Out" policy. This summer, we are not dabbling; we are adopting and enforcing it. "Carry In/Carry Out" will apply to any item (think of all the aforementioned items plus baseball cards, Legos, dolls, books, etc.) transported to the minivan, backyard, front porch and all other locales. Should you "carry in" and neglect to "carry out", you will lose the object/s in question indefinitely and be subject to a fine. For real. And not just a penny -- this could be up to a quarter, my dear little people!
2. You want it? You get it! This mom is a waitress no more! This ground-breaking rule will apply to glasses of water, apples and other approved snack items and beverages. Of note, it will not apply to cookies, chips and ice-cream; they will still require approval (and potentially assistance, since we don't want to lose a kid in the freezer!) and must be approved by management (a.k.a. Mom or Dad).
3. You need it? You carry it. This just might change the subtle curvature in my spine that has resulted from not only carrying triplets, but carrying their associated stuff and siblings! This summer, if you need a beach towel, it will go in your backpack. If you need to return a library book, you can take it in your book bag. You get the idea. This is about you doing some of the heavy lifting so this mom literally has a lighter load. 

With these tips in mind, I hope you have a lighter summer, in every sense of the word!

Tuesday Tip: Summer Roadtrip Survival Guide

When I mentioned to people that we were headed to Boston to visit friends for Memorial Day weekend, I was met with a consistent chorus of "All of you?!"  I'm not sure if the stunned responses were aimed at us for being brave enough to battle holiday weekend traffic with five kids in a minivan or our friends, for being brave enough to invite the Lyons Family Circus to town.  Again.

These are very very good friends.  We have been visiting them once or twice a year for as long as I can remember -- including those dicey days when we had five kids under five and would roll in with a car full of pack and plays, strollers, high chairs and, more often than not, at least one smelly child who had been sitting in his or her own stink (from either a diaper or projectile vomit or both) for hours in the aforementioned traffic. 

How do we do it?  Well, for starters, we've gotten pretty good at planning and packing -- and, we've learned over the years that rarely do we leave when we plan to, arrive when we hope to or survive any extended road trip without pulling over at least once for a roadside bathroom or vomit break. That's just the way we roll.  Here are a few tips to help you roll to wherever the road takes you in Summer 2012.

• Pack extra everything.  Or plan to do laundry. Or both.  Perhaps most of all, pack your sense of humor.  You'll need it when you're on the side of 95 with a crying kid peeing on your foot.  Or when the projectile vomit hits the back of your head. Or the bag of snacks in the backseat.  You get the idea. Family road trips aren't pretty but if you leave your sense of humor at home, they will be downright dismal!
•  Learn to tune them out.  By "them", I mean the kids in the backseat.  Whether you have one of them or five or more, they make a ton of noise.  Ours start to ask for a snack before we turn off our block.  Then it's on to a relentless cacophony of "Are we there yet?" "He's kicking my seat" "She's bothering me" "I have to pee." "I think someone farted.' "Are we there yet?" and so on.  We've discovered it can be really fun to taunt them the way they taunt you.  A few of our favorites are to:
• A. Put all the windows down when you're doing 65 on the highway so the wind literally knocks them silent or...
• B.  Blast your favorite classic car tunes (for me it's Don't Stop Believin' by Journey; for my husband it's anything Led Zeppelin) and sing along at the top of your lungs.  They will be momentarily stunned into silence upon realizing that you have a repertoire beyond "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." You can and should use this to your advantage and feel free to keep it up until someone starts to cry - which in our experience is typically well into the last refrain.
• Reset your expectations.  Remember when a bathroom break took five minutes?  Or when you'd stop for dinner and be back on the road in fifteen minutes?  Well, those days are gone.  If you've ever hit a roadside rest stop with your tots in tow, you know that it takes longer and is a far more menacing place.  Everything is dirty and everyone is a stranger-danger.  You will hold your kids close, your Purell closer and wonder how you lost a half hour of your life in a filthy bathroom. And you may only be a few minutes away from home!

So, it may take longer and there's no doubt that it's messier but, if life is all about the journey, I say go for it and enjoy the ride!  Happy travels! 

Tuesday Tip: Summer survival tactics for beach & pool

Heading to your local pool or beach with tots in tow can be a daunting task, to say the very least!  The worries of managing your tribe multiply as you factor in sun, sand, and easy access to open water for tykes that are barely toddling, let alone swimming.  Here are a few simple suggestions to guarantee that you and your little ones have fun in the sun this summer...

1. Apply sunblock at home.  This goes for you and the kiddos.  Once they set foot on sand or sight on that kiddie pool, the battle of the sunblock will officially be lost.  Save yourself the struggle by applying sunblock with the last diaper change or trip to the potty before you leave home.  This way, by the time you reach your destination, the lotion will be absorbed and you can start your day with one battle won.
2. Set boundaries and stick to them.  Want your kids to stay in the kiddie pool?  Then don't introduce them to the big one.  Not with Dad, not with big brother, not with you, not at all.  Once they get a taste of what lies beyond, the kiddie pool will forever be, well, child's play.  Like any discipline or rules you follow at home, consistency is king at the pool or beach.  If your wee one knows that the big pool is off limits or shoes must be worn on the playground or they can only wander to the water's edge with a grown-up by their side, they will get it... and it's up to you to ensure that they do!
3. Lead by example.  This may sound obvious but I often need to be reminded that my actions have a causal effect on my little ones reactions!  Want them to wear a hat?  Then you should wear one too.  The same holds true for sunblock, seat belts, healthy eating habits, you name it.  This is one tip that will take you to the pool and beyond.  Little ones learn by example and look to you first and foremost to show them the way. Which is why you will see me in a big-brimmed blue hat for most of the summer.  Is it cute?  Probably not.  But is it worth it if my five fair-skinned offspring wear their hats too?  Absolutely!
4. Keep baby powder in your bag.  Why?  We call it the "powder treatment".  Powder can remove the most stubborn of sand from fingers, toes and all places in between.  And, if you get home and find your tots (or yourself!) too tired for the post-swim bath, you can tuck them in knowing that if nothing else, they will smell (and feel!) powder fresh! 

Wishing you a happy, safe summer where you win the battle of the sunblock and most of the others the tots throw your way!