Tuesday Tip: Take it in Stride

The past few days have been full of firsts... and lasts.  Labor Day marked the unofficial last day of summer... and the first day of my fortieth year.  As we lamented the unfortunate end of the long days, carefree nights and relaxed routine we've grown happily accustomed to, we celebrated my birthday -- and anticipated the important upcoming firsts for our kids... specifically, Ciara's first day of kindergarten and Liam's first day of second grade, both of which were today. 

As you might imagine, there is a lot of emotion, anxiety and hope tied to these landmark events... turning the big 4-0, sending your only little lady off to kindergarten and watching your firstborn hop on the bus to second grade.  I can't help but wonder where the time has gone, how it passed so fast, and what the future will bring. 

As it turns out, my not-yet-five year old put it best when she hopped out of bed this morning and announced in a most matter-of-fact way "I'm a kindergartener now Mom."  The rainy day and fact that her "back to school outfit" never arrived in the mail didn't dampen her spirit; she just took it all in stride, inspiring today's Tuesday Tip. 

Take it easy.  Have faith in the what the future holds, for your children, your family and yourself.  It is so easy to get caught up in the hoopla of life's milestones, be they turning forty or the first day of school.  It's so easy to let external pressures invade your inner-most thoughts. "Am I really turning 40?  Can I really be this old?  Will there be a great big party?  Shouldn't there be ?!"  Or "Can I really put my peanut on a school bus?  Is she really ready to go?  Will she make friends?  Will she miss me?"  These and many other thoughts cluttered my mind for much of the long Labor Day weekend.  

Rather than enjoying the moment, (there were many enjoyable moments that included swimming, ice cream and pizza, just to name a few!) I was too busy fretting about what might come next.  Perhaps, at the end of the day, that's why they fly by so quickly.  Because we're all too busy worrying about what comes next.


Thanks to my brave, confident, sassy kindergartener, as I begin this next decade, I'm going to try to be more like her.  To enjoy the moment.  To take it in stride.  And yes, to even skip through the raindrops rather than let it rain on my parade.

Confessions of a(n almost) 40 year old child

It’s coming.  In just a few days, I will turn the big 4-0.  I’m not sure how I feel about it.  I’m not sure why everyone makes such a big deal about it.  I am sure that I can’t possibly be this “old” given the many ways I still act like a child myself.  Here are 40 of them, in no particular order -- just a few observations, confessions and aspirations in homage to my past 40 fabulous years and God-willing, at least 40 more!

1. For starters, I love birthdays. And birthday parties and birthday cake. 
2. I don’t like fancy cakes.  I will always choose an old-fashioned yellow cake with chocolate icing over a fancy gallette or anything with fruit filling.
3. I am cranky when I don’t get enough sleep.
4. I am really cranky when I am hungry.  
5. I don’t like to be kept waiting.  I want what I want and I want it NOW.   
6. I love snow. 
7. I wish for snow days.
8. I like building snowmen, making snow angels and even catching snowflakes on the tip of my tongue.
9. I also like hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows; in fact, I expect it after a good romp in the snow.
10. Sometimes I want my Mommy.  Or my Dad.  Thank God they still come running when I call.   
11. I like the Backyardigans.  Ok, I love the Backyardigans.  I've been known to comment (positively) on the choreography.  This should embarrass me.  It doesn't.
12. I like most, if not all, Disney and Pixar movies.  Always have.  Even before I had five kids of my own.
13. I love Mary Poppins and like to say (and sing) Supercalifragiliciousexpialidocious! 
14. If I could wear footie pajamas, I would.  
15. If I could still sleep with "Abearham", an Irish-knit clad teddy bear my "Mom-Mom" gave me from the now defunct Abraham & Straus, I would. 
16. I hate putting on sunblock.
17. Sometimes I don’t want to eat my veggies and I do want to eat dessert.
18. Sometimes I wish I could have Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes and other forbidden cereals for breakfast.
19. Sometimes I want to stir my ice cream into a soup.  Possibly a soup with chocolate chips and/or sprinkles floating in it.
20. My perfect day would include a trip to a zoo... 
21. … or an aquarium.  I love a good aquarium!  I especially like the "touch pools" with starfish and eels.  (I also like those traditional petting zoos with billy goats you can feed by hand!)
22. When I wear high heels, I feel like I’m playing dress up.  I like to play dress up. 
23.  I say “like” too much.
24. Sometimes I’m too excited to sleep – typically on Christmas Eve or the night before vacation.
25. A small part of me still believes in Santa.  In the magic of Christmas.  I love to run down the stairs and see what's under the tree -- even though these days, I've put most of the gifts there myself. 
26. I like presents.  I like getting them and giving them.  I really like getting them.
27. I like bubble baths.  I wish I could take them more often.
28. I must touch all dogs.  Especially big fluffy ones.  I just can’t resist. 
29.  I occasionally throw a wicked tantrum.  It’s not pretty. I’m not proud of it but, it’s true.
30. I really like Mac & Cheese. And grilled cheese. While I'm at it, chicken nuggets aren't so bad either.
31. I have a fondness for McNuggets thanks to a fond memory of my first trip to McDonald's with my Pop-Pop.
32. I love a place called Sundae School, again thanks to Pop-Pop.  Mint chip sundaes with hot fudge, homemade whipped cream and a real cherry will always be one of my favorite things.
33. I love to sing "My Favorite Things."  I love The Sound of Music.  I still get scared at parts. 
34. Sometimes I don’t like sharing.  Especially blueberries.  I love blueberries.
35. Sometimes I want to play hooky.   
36. Sometimes I don't want to make my bed, wash my face or brush my teeth.
37. I actually like milk with dinner.  Especially with meatballs and spaghetti.  Weird, right? 
38. I tend to trust people.  I believe most people are inherently good.
39. I believe that dreams can come true.
40. I still make a wish when the clock turns 11:11, when I throw a penny in a fountain, when a stray eyelash is blown away and of course,  when I blow out my birthday candles. I believe these wishes will come true. In fact, many already have.

So, with 40 just around the corner and this list in hand, I am truly grateful for my family and friends. They humor my childlike whims and  tolerate my occasional tantrums; they have shaped who I am today and will influence who I become tomorrow.  I hope they surround me as I blow out the candles for the years to come; if they do, that will be just one more wish come true.

Resolutions or Life-long Ambitions? Turning 40 Makes this Mom Wonder, What’s the Difference?!

2011 has officially arrived. Much to my own disbelief, this is the year that Liam will turn seven (yikes!), our princess Ciara will turn 5 (and go to KINDERGARTEN!!!) and the triplets will turn three (however can that be?!). This is also the year that I will turn 40. I have to say, I’m kind of looking forward to it. Maybe we’ll have a big party. Or perhaps find a way to finagle a weekend away from all of these kids… a girl’s gotta dream, right? For me, hope springs eternal about what the future will hold and, never more so than at this time of year.

This year, as I teeter on the edge of 40 and ponder what 2011 may hold, I’ve decided to rethink my resolutions. I’ve decided that since there’s an undeniable pattern in my annual goals (exercise more, save more money, find time for date nights!), why limit them to a calendar year? Why not think of resolutions as long term ambitions? Maybe it’s a cop out. Maybe I’m letting myself off the hook by lifting the 12.31.11 deadline but, on the other hand, maybe I’m giving myself the chance to truly be a better person and lead a better life. It is with this hope, intention and optimism in mind that I share with you my goals for 2011… and beyond.

 I would like to yell less and listen more. I’d like to really listen, to actually hear what my children and my husband have to say. To take the time to digest and respond to their comments, thoughts and requests with more than my typically breezy “yup, uh-huh, sure” or “what’d ya say, hon?”

I’d like to be more present and less distracted. To live in the moment. To savor the moment. To recognize that it’s not always necessary (or productive!) to fold the laundry while helping with homework and assisting with puzzles and Lego creations. To realize that the homework, puzzles and Legos matter far more than neatly folded towels! To remember that multi-tasking has its limits and ultimately, gets in the way of really listening, being present and living in the moment.

I’d like to be more grateful for what I do have rather than longing for what I do not. I’d like to truly appreciate the little things that matter and stop yearning for the big things that don't. I’d like to start each day with a smile and end it the same way. I’d like to be a better wife and more patient parent. I’d like to instill my children with a sense of confidence in themselves and respect for others.

I’d like to set a good example – something I’m not always prone to do, especially toward the end of the day when I’m as tired and hungry as my five little “Cubs”; I’ve been known to try to outshout them just to be heard and trust me, this doesn’t work. Not to mention, it does nothing for your esteem to know that you’ve stooped to the level of a pre-schooler!

Come to think of it, perhaps I’m resolving to simply stop acting like the many pre-schoolers who inhabit our home. All I need to do is be a better listener, focus on the task at hand and take time to appreciate (rather than sweat!) the small stuff… including, for example, all the arts & crafts projects our little Cubs create.  If I’m lucky, this year’s projects will include a few nice birthday cards wishing me a Happy 40th and I'll be perfectly happy with just that. Although, of course, the party and weekend away would be nice too!  :)