Tuesday Tip: Moving your child from a crib to a bed

I'm pretty sure this picture was taken yesterday:

Newborn triplets: Kev, Dec and Mac snuggle up together

But, it wasn't.  As it turns out, this picture was taken over three and a half years ago, when Kevin, Declan and Cormac first came home from the hospital.  They were four days old.  They shared a crib.  For months.  And, in what feels like the blink of the eye, they now sleep here:

"Big Boy Beds" aka crib mattresses on floor!

They made the big move last weekend and I have to say, it was a long time coming.  Not in the literal sense -- it's not like I spent months prepping them for the big move, reading books about the transition or frankly, designing the ideal sleep space or investing in the perfect bedroom set (as the picture will clearly attest!). When I say it was "a long time coming", I mean that our little fellas have been climbing out of their beds for a long time.  They have been asking for beds. They told us they were ready and finally, we listened.

Don't get me wrong.  They weren't unhappy in their cribs. Quite to the contrary, they loved them.  They had all their stuffed animal "friends" in there -- many of whom they played catch with from crib to crib.  They would climb out in the morning, enjoying the independence and freedom to get their own Cheerios but, much to our surprise (and delight!), they never climbed out at night.  When they were in, they were in for the night.  And we all had sweet dreams.

Then, on Saturday night, everything changed.  We set them free.  We broke down those cribs, made their "beds" with new sheets and pillows, said a prayer, and hoped for the best.  This is what happened:

If you watched the video, I hope it gave you the laugh out loud it gives me every time I look at it.  And if you didn't, you may want to.  It is pure joy.  Three little fellas, 3 1/2 years old, pushing the limits as little fellas are prone to do. They are free and they are happy.  There is no doubt they have outgrown their cribs and are ready for beds.  Just as there is no doubt that for the next week or so (or possibly more!), the bedtime "routine" will be anything but.  On Sunday night, they were so tired that they were all sweetly snoozing by 8:00.  Last night, I had to shut down a rather rowdy game that was a cross between Hopscotch and Three Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed at 9:00.  So, I suppose if I have a few tips to share on the overall transition from cribs to beds, they would be:

1. Listen to your children, they will tell you when they are ready. (Note: this same nugget of wisdom will work for potty training as well!)
2. Don't stress out about it.  If you do, they will.  And if you don't, well, did the fellas in the video look stressed out?
3. Anticipate - and embrace - a change in your bedtime routine.  Just as you did that night long long ago when your wee one first came home from the hospital and looked oh so small in that great big crib.

Tuesday Tip: When toddlers say no-no to naptime

People always seem to marvel when I tell them our kids still take naps.  Not all of them, of course.  At six years old, Liam is hard-pressed to sit still let alone lie down during the day but even so, our family frequently enjoys "quiet time" on weekends; Liam will read, Ciara (now almost five) will still take an occasional nap and at 2 1/2, Kevin, Declan and Cormac still take a 2 1/2 hour nap on most afternoons. 

How?  Why?  I suppose because in our house, NOT napping was NEVER an option.  I confess that we are blessed with naturally good sleepers; we've been extremely lucky in that regard.  However, even good sleepers will occasionally engage in a "survival of the sleepiest" battle at naptime and our house is no exception.  When the battle begins, we armor up and agree to never surrender.  We just can't give in to a trio of toddlers throwing a tantrum.  If we do, chaos will reign, they will take over and be swinging from the chandelier before I can say "back to bed!"  That's my fear, anyway.  And I think my fear has a lot to do with my good nappers.

I love to sleep. And frankly, I am afraid of the me I become when I don't get a good night's sleep; this is why I would force feed bottles to all of our kids at midnight -- not because I was innately concerned about their nutritional intake but rather, I knew if their bellies were full, this Mama would have a shot at six uninterrupted, blissful hours of shut-eye.    The sleep-deprived me is kind of scary; she is not someone you'd want to leave your five kids alone with. I'm not proud to admit it but when I'm overtired, I act just like an OTT (OverTired Toddler) -- irrational, stubborn, prone to crying, you get the gist.  It is because I know this about myself that I am dedicated to ensuring my kids get the rest they need.  At naptime as at nighttime, their sleep time is my downtime.  Those Sunday afternoons when the whole clan is down are the only moments Des and I have to sit and read the paper... or, perhaps more likely, mow the lawn or chop veggies for the week ahead.  Either way, nap time is time we need and we count on and I think a few simple ground rules have laid the groundwork for our success with sleepers:

1. Resiliance.  As I mentioned, no nap was never an option here in the Lyons Den.  No matter how intense the whining, the crying, the screaming, the tossing of toys and taking off of sheets and on more than one occasion, the famed Triplet Diaper Toss, we never caved in.  They stayed in their cribs.  They cried it out.  And they eventually tired out.  And went to sleep.  Usually, anyway.  On the days where two hours went by and sleep never came, there was still quiet time.  And even if it wasn't so quiet, it was still two hours that I wasn't tripping over toddlers. Is it always easy?  No way.  But Is it worth it in the end to battle through?  Absolutely.
2. Rewards.  For now, the triplets are still in their cribs but, it won't be long before they are out and relishing the freedom of a "big boy bed."  When this day comes, I'm sure they will test us in the same ways Liam and Ciara did -- appearing every five minutes in need of a glass of water or another book or another kiss or hug or back rub or... you get the idea!  This one stumped us at first.  And our first attempt to regain control wasn't successful -- the route we initially took was the punishment/deprivation route.  As in "if you get out of bed one more time I will take away your (fill in the blank)" or "you won't be able to watch TV for a week!"  This proved totally ineffective and doubly frustrating as we were met with responses like "I don't like that anymore anyway!" or, worse yet, "I don't care!"  I expected to hear these words from a sullen teen, not a tired toddler.  Far more successful for us has been positive reinforcement.  As in "if you just lie down for an hour, you can watch a half hour of TV when you get up."  More often than not, by the time the hour rolls by, their eyes have rolled back in their heads, they are sweetly snoring and when they wake up quite possibly grumpy because they lost the battle, you'll be glad to offer them their consolation prize -- which in our house, is a half hour of The Backyardigans.
3. Repetition. When it comes to parenting, we've rarely had success the first time around (see above: force feeding bottles at midnight actually resulted in more spit up than anyone should ever experience!).  That's why we tend to live by the mantra, if at first you don't succeed, try try again!  Don't give up and before you know it, your little tot will be having sweet dreams... and hopefully you will too!