Tuesday Tip: Inspire Independent Children

For today's "Tuesday Tip", I thought I'd share some thoughts that I first published on The Huffington Post on empowering our five kids to be more independent.  With summer upon us, the mere notion of spending the next few months lugging beach towels, beach toys, water bottles, snacks, sunscreen, hats, swim shirts and so on made my (admittedly aging!) back started to ache.  So, I decided that this will be the "summer of independence" -- the summer that the kids take on more so I can (in the most literal sense!) take on less.  Here's how we plan to do it -- think of this as a three-part memo to the little people of the "Lyons Den."

1. We've dabbled in the past in the genius of the National Parks "Carry In/Carry Out" policy. This summer, we are not dabbling; we are adopting and enforcing it. "Carry In/Carry Out" will apply to any item (think of all the aforementioned items plus baseball cards, Legos, dolls, books, etc.) transported to the minivan, backyard, front porch and all other locales. Should you "carry in" and neglect to "carry out", you will lose the object/s in question indefinitely and be subject to a fine. For real. And not just a penny -- this could be up to a quarter, my dear little people!
2. You want it? You get it! This mom is a waitress no more! This ground-breaking rule will apply to glasses of water, apples and other approved snack items and beverages. Of note, it will not apply to cookies, chips and ice-cream; they will still require approval (and potentially assistance, since we don't want to lose a kid in the freezer!) and must be approved by management (a.k.a. Mom or Dad).
3. You need it? You carry it. This just might change the subtle curvature in my spine that has resulted from not only carrying triplets, but carrying their associated stuff and siblings! This summer, if you need a beach towel, it will go in your backpack. If you need to return a library book, you can take it in your book bag. You get the idea. This is about you doing some of the heavy lifting so this mom literally has a lighter load. 

With these tips in mind, I hope you have a lighter summer, in every sense of the word!

Tuesday Tip: Meet the Food Yenta

The Food Yenta's new tote bag is awesome - just like her.

I mentioned earlier in the year that I might be doing less blogging in an effort to be spending more time with my family.  If you noticed I've been MIA the past few weeks, that's probably why -- although, it's also been a busy few weeks at work and I recently had the privilege of writing for the Huffington Post so, needless to say, there hasn't been a lot of spare time!  

In the midst of it all the working, writing and wrangling of wily children, I had the good fortune to enjoy a fun night out with some local bloggers and, as always, I was so impressed and flattered to be in their company.  I'm going to start routinely sharing some of these gal pals with you because, frankly, if you don't know them, you should.  The first is The Food Yenta. She is funny, she is awesome and she is just like you and me -- well, depending on your cooking skills, she may be more like you!  In any case, she is incredible and she shares tasty, quick, easy, family-friendly recipes on her site several days a week.  If I wanted to keep this Tuesday's Tip really short and sweet, I'd simply say "Follow The Food Yenta!" But, since she has some great parenting tips of her own, I thought I'd share them with you here... 

1. Have patience. When it comes to food or just playing games, we all lose it sometimes and kids really know how to push all of our buttons. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I try to remember that that my kids are newbies at life and everything comes in time.
2. My mother-in-law gave me very good advice when I was pregnant with my son and freaked out about being a “mom”. Firm, fair and consistent. It’s a rule I live by and gets us through hard times.
3. Let your kids get dirty. Whether it be a mud puddle or flour, it’s fun. After all, that’s why we have washing machines.
4. Enjoy your kids, even during the worst of times because they grow up quick. It feels like yesterday my son was born and I was holding him in the hospital. Now…now, he’s graduating kindergarten and entering first grade!
5. Coconut oil is great for cooking but it is also great for dry skin and eczema.

For more about The Food Yenta, check out her full interview at Mommy Page.  As for me, I aspire to be a better cook... and a better mom... one day at a time.  If I'm here less often, that will be why and, you can always visit me over at Facebook if you want a quick peek at the latest from the Lyons Den!

Second Grade Field Trip to the Bronx Zoo

I am an animal lover.  I adore animals and have since I was a child.  Which is why last week was a truly superb week here in the Lyons Den.  For starters, we had three small chicks sleep over as part of a second grade science project -- little balls of fluffy cuteness that elicited smiles and squeals of delight.  And I'm not just talking about the kids! 

Does it get cuter than this? FYI, chick three was camera-shy.

As if the chick visitation wasn't enough, we also had Liam's class trip to the Bronx Zoo -- one of my favorite places and, always a joy to see through the eyes of a child... even in the pouring rain.  Here's a brief recap...

I left the house at ten past nine,

With another mom, we were the first in line.

We hoped and hoped it wouldn't rain,

Or be too crowded and totally insane. 

We arrived before the zoo opened at 10,

No kids in sight, it was truly zen.

Then the phone rang, the bus never came,

Our kids were back at their school, stuck at Dows Lane!

No bus, no kids, what are moms to do?

Well, we walked right in and toured the zoo!

Sea lions and polar bears topped our list,

When the second graders arrived,they were kinda pissed.

"No bus! Dirty bus! We're so late!" they exclaimed,

As the skies opened up and it started to rain.

Poor kids, poor teachers, poor parents soaking wet,

But not to be deterred, we went to see birds and didn't fret.

Birds of prey seemed really cool

The kids had learned a lot about them at school.

A snowy owl I learned is a bird of prey,

I really learned a lot that rainy day.

Puffins are cute, the Scarlet Ibis is pretty,

Fifty wet second graders can be fun and witty.

Environmental messages were strong and clear --

If you cut down the trees, the birds will disappear.

As the thunder boomed and the rain came pouring down, 

The teachers decided we had to get out of town,

Bye bye Bronx, bye bye zoo.

So long Aquatic Birds and Birds of Prey too.

Good bye to a day that was almost a disaster,

With a missing school bus and rain falling fast and faster,

But a disaster it was not as the memories will surely tell,

Second graders reflect fondly on a zoo day from hell!

And, for the record, I do too. 

I really was lucky to go to the zoo.

Sure I was hungry and tired and wet,

But a day at the zoo is as good as it gets.

A day with my fella who I can't believe is seven,

Is a great day for me, a little slice of heaven. 

Tuesday Tip: Summer Roadtrip Survival Guide

When I mentioned to people that we were headed to Boston to visit friends for Memorial Day weekend, I was met with a consistent chorus of "All of you?!"  I'm not sure if the stunned responses were aimed at us for being brave enough to battle holiday weekend traffic with five kids in a minivan or our friends, for being brave enough to invite the Lyons Family Circus to town.  Again.

These are very very good friends.  We have been visiting them once or twice a year for as long as I can remember -- including those dicey days when we had five kids under five and would roll in with a car full of pack and plays, strollers, high chairs and, more often than not, at least one smelly child who had been sitting in his or her own stink (from either a diaper or projectile vomit or both) for hours in the aforementioned traffic. 

How do we do it?  Well, for starters, we've gotten pretty good at planning and packing -- and, we've learned over the years that rarely do we leave when we plan to, arrive when we hope to or survive any extended road trip without pulling over at least once for a roadside bathroom or vomit break. That's just the way we roll.  Here are a few tips to help you roll to wherever the road takes you in Summer 2012.

• Pack extra everything.  Or plan to do laundry. Or both.  Perhaps most of all, pack your sense of humor.  You'll need it when you're on the side of 95 with a crying kid peeing on your foot.  Or when the projectile vomit hits the back of your head. Or the bag of snacks in the backseat.  You get the idea. Family road trips aren't pretty but if you leave your sense of humor at home, they will be downright dismal!
•  Learn to tune them out.  By "them", I mean the kids in the backseat.  Whether you have one of them or five or more, they make a ton of noise.  Ours start to ask for a snack before we turn off our block.  Then it's on to a relentless cacophony of "Are we there yet?" "He's kicking my seat" "She's bothering me" "I have to pee." "I think someone farted.' "Are we there yet?" and so on.  We've discovered it can be really fun to taunt them the way they taunt you.  A few of our favorites are to:
• A. Put all the windows down when you're doing 65 on the highway so the wind literally knocks them silent or...
• B.  Blast your favorite classic car tunes (for me it's Don't Stop Believin' by Journey; for my husband it's anything Led Zeppelin) and sing along at the top of your lungs.  They will be momentarily stunned into silence upon realizing that you have a repertoire beyond "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." You can and should use this to your advantage and feel free to keep it up until someone starts to cry - which in our experience is typically well into the last refrain.
• Reset your expectations.  Remember when a bathroom break took five minutes?  Or when you'd stop for dinner and be back on the road in fifteen minutes?  Well, those days are gone.  If you've ever hit a roadside rest stop with your tots in tow, you know that it takes longer and is a far more menacing place.  Everything is dirty and everyone is a stranger-danger.  You will hold your kids close, your Purell closer and wonder how you lost a half hour of your life in a filthy bathroom. And you may only be a few minutes away from home!

So, it may take longer and there's no doubt that it's messier but, if life is all about the journey, I say go for it and enjoy the ride!  Happy travels! 

Tuesday Tip: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Savor it!

One of life's simple pleasures: Puddle Jumping!

I tend to find myself feeling a bit, well, schmoopy, this time of year.   As the seasons change and class picnics and school concerts fill the calendar, I am reminded daily of how fleeting this time with our children is; of how today's hardships provide tomorrow's humor and how, in the blink of an eye, these little ones who needed us move on, move up and move out.  

Ok, technically, with our oldest only seven, I know that no one is moving out any time soon but, I can't help but be struck by the fact that our seven and five year old are pretty much over me.  Sure, they still need me in some ways but, I'm no longer the center of their world.  Whereas they once thought I could do no wrong, they now know that I can and do.  They are smart, independent and savvy.  And that's the way it should be.

On the other hand, our trio of identical three-year olds still worship the ground I walk on.  They still occasionally cry when I go to work and routinely run to the door and jump into my arms when I come home.  They greet me each morning with a smile, filled with anticipation for the day ahead and asking as they rub the sleep from their eyes "Is today a Mommy day?"  Of course, every day is a Mommy day but in their world, a "Mommy Day" is a day I don't work.  Today, we had a "Mommy morning" and it made me realize how important it is not sweat the small stuff, but to embrace it.  Today, instead of yelling at them for jumping in puddles, I joined them.  Instead of stopping them from splashing in the tub, I simply shut the shower curtain and let them have at it.  And you know what?  It was awesome.  Small stuff; little moments; daily routines; shared secrets -- these are the wonders of parenthood.  And, as far as I'm concerned, they are passing by far too quickly. That's why I plan to seize every chance I get to...

• Hold hands
• Jump in puddles
• Look at bugs
• Snuggle and cuddle
• Sing silly songs
• Eat ice cream
• Yell less and smile more

These are the things that make Mommy Days memorable -- and the reasons why it's just not worth it to sweat the small stuff.  In the end, the small stuff will be forgotten, your small ones will be big and we'll realize that little did we know, it was some of these small things that mean the most.  Hopefully, like the day that I took the morning off to splash in puddles!