Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Morning from Hell

I thought I would share a few highlights (truly lowlights!) from my morning yesterday… lest you should think it’s all laughs and giggles in the Lyons Den… which it often is, but on this particular morning, was not!

 I think, perhaps, it all went awry when I broke routine by opting to hit snooze instead of dragging my butt out of bed for a run. Without my “me” moment secured prior to the rise of five little “cubs”, I found myself irritable and angry before the kids were even out of bed. So much for the benefit of the snooze button!

 Liam bore the brunt of it before he gratefully departed for the school bus… “Get up! Get dressed! Faster! Eat your toast! Over your plate! Drink your juice! I don’t care if you don’t want a turkey sandwich for lunch, that’s what you’re getting! Where are your shoes? You DO need a coat! Eat! Faster! You’re going to be late!” Poor kid… I bet he thought it was the morning from hell too.

 Then Ciara arrived on the scene… never in my wildest dreams would I imagine I’d say “You are NOT wearing THAT to school!” to a THREE year old! Let's face it, I need to lighten up!

 As I barked at Des to get Ciara breakfast, finish unloading the dishwasher and feed the dog, I raced up the stairs for a quick shower knowing that I was going to barely make my train to the city. I flew by the babies’ room and was stunned by the stench wafting out the door. That and the cries probably would have stopped most Moms but I was a manic Mom on a mission and my mission was to get to work on time!

 I knew it was bad when I could hear the waiing from the shower. Swearing to myself, I once again skipped shaving my legs, didn’t use conditioner and didn’t even consider moisturizer. It was 8:14; my train was at 8:41. I was wet, naked, angry and knew I had to face my poor screaming, smelly kids. As I entered their room, I literally had to gasp for air. The odor of overnight drenched diapers filled with some horrid excrement was almost too much to bear. Doing my best to put on a happy face, I stripped them all down and disposed of some the nastiest diapers I’ve ever seen… and trust me, I’ve seen a LOT of nasty diapers. Time check: 8:24. That left me just about 9 minutes to get dressed, do my hair and slap on some mascara. Not good.

 Not surprisingly, my “go to” outfit was at the cleaners and nothing else was clean. I had to settle for a snot-stained cardigan with too tight pants that were covered with dog hair. Not a confidence-building look, to say the very least. Time check: 8:33. I popped my mascara in my bag, blew air kisses to the kids, barked a few more orders at Des and RAN for the train. I arrived at the station a sweaty mess just as the train rolled in. I sat down, sent Des a text apologizing for my bad behavior and promised not to skip my morning run again… meaning the run that takes me for a few serene miles rather than a mad bolt for the train!

 Today, as I expected, got off to a better start. I got my mileage in before the tots woke up and I made the train with my makeup on my face instead of in my bag. As I overheard a woman whine to the conductor, “I can’t find my ticket but really, I’m lucky I even made it out of the house, I’ve got TWO kids at home.” I just smiled and sighed. A morning from hell is a morning from hell – and we all have them whether you’ve got two kids or five!

 PS Please note that the lack of a photo accompanying this post is quite deliberate. I’m sure you’ll understand that the morning from hell needs no pictorial evidence!

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