We have five children. The oldest is seven. Clearly, we’ve had a fair amount of sex – although, perhaps not quite as much as you’d suspect given that A. I’m pretty much Fertile Myrtle and B. our last three came as a package deal. When identical triplets were revealed on an early sonogram, I nearly fell off the table. And pretty much swore to never have sex again.
As they say, “never say never” but it took me a really long time to “get my sexy back.” Truth be told, I’m not 100% sure it is back. Or that I ever really had it at all. I have curly hair, freckly skin and a big smile. On a good day, I might be cute. But sexy? I’m not so sure. Sexy women usually have sleek hair, smooth skin and a sultry stare. Or maybe that’s just what the media would have us believe. Maybe sexy really does come in all shapes and sizes. And maybe, just maybe, cute is my kind of sexy.
Knowing as I do from a whole lot of candid girl-talk, I’m not the only one who has struggled to “get my sexy back” after having children so, having been inspired by the good folks at ParentsConnect and, in the spirit of sharing, here are a few things that actually do make me feel sexy – in a confident, sassy, cute kind of a way. And, a few that most definitely don’t.
· Exercise. If you ask me, looking good is all about feeling good and feeling good – physically and emotionally – is all about exercise. If I feel fit and trim, I feel great, inside and out. And if I’m feeling great, there’s a much better chance that I’ll be interested in getting some sexy on. Let’s face it, no one feels good putting on their “Mom jeans”; we all have those days when nothing else will fit but, if you ask me, a good run or challenging yoga class is the perfect start to getting your sexy back and putting your Mom jeans away. Forever.
· Shave your legs. Frankly, nothing kills the mood more than your leg hair entangled with his. Need I say more? I didn’t think so but, since I’m prone to ramble, I will add that moisturizer is a plus and, lest I put too fine a point on it, stubble is a real buzz kill in the sexy lane.
· Wear nice underwear. And be comfortable in it. I had my days in thongs. Those days are gone. Today a thong doesn’t make me feel sexy; it makes me feel fat and like I have a wedgie. Push up bras don’t work either; they are an awkward, uncomfortable reminder that I have nothing to push up! The moral of this underwear tale? Find what works for you -- what makes you feel good, comfortable, confident and yes, perhaps even sexy. And then buy it, wear it and flaunt it. While you're at it, throw away those super-sized granny panties you bought when you were pregnant. You’ll be glad you did.
· Drink wine. Ok, this may not be for everyone but it works for me. One glass of wine relieves the tension of the day and creates possibilities for the night. Of note, beer does not have the same effect for me; beer equals bloat and bloat tends to lead to the bathroom, not the bedroom. For the record, most cocktails are a no-go for me too. Sure they are yummy but just one seductively delicious Cosmo and I am one drunk skunk. Not so sexy.
· Sleep. Being well rested is probably the ultimate tip for getting your sexy back… and, daily proof that I’m not quite there yet! Many moms operate in a state of sleep deprivation for months, if not years. Given the choice, I suspect many would choose sleep over sex in a heartbeat. Sleep is all powerful and, once you get enough of it, you will be too. And that my friends is very sexy indeed.