The Summer I did hard time... Potty time

When I look back on the summer of 2011, many memories will be of the hard time I spent in potty time -- "tile time" as my good friend Jill calls it.  Call it what you will, it's hard and it's not fun.  Don't get me wrong, I know it's time well spent; the last thing I want to be is the mom of triplets who go to college in diapers but really, since that's unlikely (both the diaper part and the ability to pay for college!), I can't help but lament the hours I've spent in bathrooms this summer. 

I've spent so much time in our bathrooms at home (no, we don't have three of them, only 1.5!) that I think there's now a dent in the "big potty" seats I've spent hours perched upon.  I've spent so much time in restaurant bathrooms, that I think I've lost a few pounds  -- admittedly, this is the potential upside to being held hostage in a public bathroom by three two-year tyrants waving their willies everywhere but IN the actual potty!  I've spent many a sunny afternoon in the bat-cave like bathrooms you're prone to find at pools and beaches; again, eager to find the bright side (in this case, literally) I suppose I should be grateful for less of those damaging rays and subsequent wrinkles.  I've also spent a fair amount of time in the bathroom at church which, on the one hand, gives new meaning to "praying to the porcelain God" but, hasn't done much for my spirituality... other than, of course, repeated prayers that Kevin, Declan and Cormac finally get the swing of it (for lack of a better term!) so we can put these potty-training days behind us.

Truthfully, it's getting old.  And I'm out of PullUps.  And I'm loathe to buy more.  My little guys really seem to be getting it.  Or so it seems until I find a turd on a chair (as I did during dinner one night this week) or sail across their bedroom on a pool of pee on the floor (as I did this evening).  One step forward, two steps back.  I suppose that's how it goes.  Try, try again.  As much as I want this phase to be behind me, I also have a keen appreciation for the fact that when it's gone, it's gone.  Much like the bottles and onesies and highchairs, diapers and pull-ups will soon be gone.  Already, my sweet babes look like big boys as their shorts sag behind them in the space the diapers once filled but "training pants" don't.  By the way, has anyone else experienced these training pants?  If not, don't bother -- if they worked, I wouldn't have experienced a Slip n' Slide of pee earlier tonight!

In any case, I know that this too shall pass. And when it does, I will be proud of my guys for figuring it out.  And I will be glad that my house no longer smells like a urinal. And I will be just a little sad about those saggy shorts for I know they represent the next phase and I'm not 100% convinced that I'm ready for my babies to become "big boys".

Grocery shopping with the kids? Be prepared to get more than you bargained for!

I'm not sure how or why this happened but when I got home from work last night, I ended up grocery shopping with four of our five kids.  Somehow my husband got to stay home and man the grill with Liam, our six year old while I descended upon the local Stop & Shop with a four year old and three overtired, very hungry two year olds. 

My anxiety level was rising as I pulled into the lot.  How would I wrangle them?  What if I lost one?  Why oh why did they end up in the minivan instead of the backyard?!  Then Ciara sighted one of those nifty carts with a "car" upfront and suddenly I knew it would all be ok.  Who needs DisneyLand when you have these kinds of carts at the supermarket?!  You should have heard the squeals of joy.  It was awesome.  Yep, I said it.  Grocery shopping with four kids four and under on a Tuesday evening after a long day at work was awesome.

The only issue was the list.  I am a big believer in lists, grocery and otherwise.  Here's what was on my list last night: 

• Milk (4 gallons/2%, 2 gallons/skim)
• Eggs (2 dozen)
• Bread (2 loaves)
• Crackers
• Cereal
• Fruit

That's it.  Here's what else ended up in my cart, after only the subtlest of urging from my surprisingly pleasant pit crew:

• Fruit snacks (Cars/Toy Story.  Rationale:  on sale 2 for $4)
• Dole Fruit Cups (2 of them.  Rationale: new 'all natural' variety and on sale)
• Applesauce (2 of them.  Again, on sale 2 for $4)
• CheezIts (3 boxes!  THREE boxes!  Rationale:  on sale 3 for $6)
• English muffins (Buy one, get one free!)
• Chobani yogurt (nutritious, delicious, on sale for 10 for $10!)
• M&Ms (admittedly not on sale but, great motivation for the potty trainers in the cart!)

I have to say, I got a lot more than I bargained for on this trip to the supermarket.  In addition to the snacks that I'd usually pass by, I realized that I can tackle pretty much anything with lots of tots in tow.  And, it was a good reminder that taking a few kids along for the ride can make the most mundane of tasks a whole lot more fun.

Tuesday Tip: Dining out with children

I have a confession.  I’m not a good cook.  Fortunately, I’m a decent meal planner and my husband Des is a great cook.  Put another way, if I plan it, he will cook it.  But sometimes, I just don’t have a plan.  Or groceries.  Or the willpower to plan the meal, serve it up, cut it up and clean it up.  Sometimes, I just want to go out for Mexican or a burger.  And like it or not, the kids are coming along for the ride.

When we show up at a restaurant, we are rarely met with a warm welcome.  Although we’ve just about outgrown the need for a table with three highchairs, we do require a table for seven, five of whom are under four feet tall and prefer a side of crayons with their nuggets.  I’ve grown accustomed to the raised eyebrows, skeptical glances and hushed tones as we amble along to a table that needs to be immediately scoured of extra glasses, knives and salt and pepper shakers.  People observe us with a sense of horror and humor as they wonder why we’ve dragged our entourage out to dinner. They say things like “Wow, you’re brave!” or “Wouldn’t it just be easier to have dinner at home?” 

Actually, I’m not so brave and while it might be easier in some regards to have dinner at home, it is delightful on occasion to have someone else play the role of chef, waitress and dishwasher.  The truth of the matter is that with five kids six and under, nothing is easy.  But that hasn’t stopped us from doing what we love and one of the things we love is eating out.  How do we make it manageable and even enjoyable with so many tots in tow?

1.     Mama’s Magic Bag of Tricks.  I never leave home without it.  It contains everything I need to keep little hands busy and little minds occupied pre and post dinner.  My staples include a few story books, sticker books, coloring books, crayons and perhaps a Ziploc bag full of Legos or blocks.  Like any good bag of tricks, I rotate the items so there’s always something fun and new to keep them entertained and out of trouble.

2.     Know their limits.  This rule applies to where we go, what we order and when we go.  We naturally avoid white tablecloth (really, any tablecloth!) restaurants and never order five meals for our five kids because we know they simply can’t/won’t eat a full-sized portion.  So, we usually order two to three meals for them to share and leave room for dessert.  We also know that if we’re actually going to enjoy our meal and each other’s company, we have to go on the early side.  I’m starting to think the early bird special was made for us. Sad, but true!

3.     Pack Snacks..  And sippy cups too.  Des thinks I’m kinda crazy for bringing snacks when we go out to eat but believe me when I tell you it’s a good idea.  You never know how the long the wait will be – especially when you need a table for seven!  You also don’t know how long it will take for dinner to arrive at the table after you order; if there’s a bottomless bread basket, you’re all set but if not, you’ll be glad you grabbed a snack-pack full of raisins and Goldfish to address the dramatic whines of “I’m STARVING”  that are likely to escalate if the wait is longer than a few minutes.  Which it usually is.

When we were up on the Cape for our annual summer vacation, we ate out frequently.  And,  we discovered that an added perk of taking the clan out to eat is that they actually learn how to behave in a restaurant.  While our kids certainly have their moments, more often than not, they rise to the occasion and stun the folks that gave us those wayward glances with their good manners and inside voices.  At The Outer Bar and Grille at The Wequasset in Chatham (a scenic spot that I’d highly recommend), we were commended for having the “best kids we’ve seen all summer.” And that, if you ask me, is not only a great compliment but, the perfect ending to a great meal. Bon appetit!

The Case of the Absent Tooth Fairy



Liam in simpler times: after the loss of tooth #1



The tooth fairy has officially visited our home five times.  Our six year old has officially lost six teeth.  As you may have noticed, there is a discrepancy here.  As far as I can tell, the issue was the loss of tooth #5.

I can’t recall where or when it fell out and neither can Liam, the aforementioned gap-toothed six year old.  The fact he can’t even remember the details of this little tooth makes me feel a bit better about my own vague recollection. I do recall that when it came out, it eventually ended up in a little “treasure chest” – one of those Melissa & Doug hand-painted projects which, for some reason, ended up on top of our entertainment center (yep, we still have one of those!) several weeks back.  That’s when my mind goes blank.

Fast forward to this morning, when I got home from walking our dog to find a pouty gap-toothed Liam sulking on the front porch.  “What’s wrong?” I asked.  “Daddy moved my pillow last night and the tooth fairy never came!”  Hmmm.  I had to think quickly on this one.  Had tooth #7 fallen out last night?  Did I have amnesia?  What exactly happened and how could I respond glibly while keeping his faith in that apparently dim-witted fairy? 

A career in advertising has left me relatively quick on my feet, good with a retort and polished in the arts of ambiguity and empathy, which I can conjure up as needed.  Without dissing the tooth fairy or the Dad, I was able to discern that at some point last night, Liam found that treasure chest with tooth #5; it had slipped behind the TV and was discovered during a search for a Tom & Jerry video (yes, we do let our kids watch them and if you haven’t seen Tom or Jerry in a while, I’d highly suggest that you revisit them!). 

Like any other 2^nd grade believer, Liam assumed the tooth fairy must have radar and would intuitively know when a small boy places a toothy treasure under his pillow.  With this in mind, Liam had slid the treasure box under the pillow without uttering a word about it to me or the Dad.  When he woke up this morning and found the tooth and treasure chest under his bed, he reached the reasonable conclusion that when Dad did the final late night tuck-in, he must have knocked the treasure chest under the bed, thereby sending the tooth fairy off course.

This was a lot to take in so early in the morning but, grateful for the large cup of coffee I'd consumed, I explained that Liam was right.  Of course the tooth fairy’s radar doesn’t work under little boys beds; it is only effective under pillows!  That answer seemed satisfactory and so it is that tonight, tooth #5 (and the fairy!) will be getting a second chance.  Having reviewed the contents of my own treasure chest of Liam's teeth (yep, I save them... gross, right?), I came across these little gems from a few months ago.  I can't help but think that my little guy's initial excitement when he wakes up and discovers that the absent tooth fairy finally reappeared might be diminished when he realizes she only left $2.00...

Tuesday Tip: When toddlers say no-no to naptime

People always seem to marvel when I tell them our kids still take naps.  Not all of them, of course.  At six years old, Liam is hard-pressed to sit still let alone lie down during the day but even so, our family frequently enjoys "quiet time" on weekends; Liam will read, Ciara (now almost five) will still take an occasional nap and at 2 1/2, Kevin, Declan and Cormac still take a 2 1/2 hour nap on most afternoons. 

How?  Why?  I suppose because in our house, NOT napping was NEVER an option.  I confess that we are blessed with naturally good sleepers; we've been extremely lucky in that regard.  However, even good sleepers will occasionally engage in a "survival of the sleepiest" battle at naptime and our house is no exception.  When the battle begins, we armor up and agree to never surrender.  We just can't give in to a trio of toddlers throwing a tantrum.  If we do, chaos will reign, they will take over and be swinging from the chandelier before I can say "back to bed!"  That's my fear, anyway.  And I think my fear has a lot to do with my good nappers.

I love to sleep. And frankly, I am afraid of the me I become when I don't get a good night's sleep; this is why I would force feed bottles to all of our kids at midnight -- not because I was innately concerned about their nutritional intake but rather, I knew if their bellies were full, this Mama would have a shot at six uninterrupted, blissful hours of shut-eye.    The sleep-deprived me is kind of scary; she is not someone you'd want to leave your five kids alone with. I'm not proud to admit it but when I'm overtired, I act just like an OTT (OverTired Toddler) -- irrational, stubborn, prone to crying, you get the gist.  It is because I know this about myself that I am dedicated to ensuring my kids get the rest they need.  At naptime as at nighttime, their sleep time is my downtime.  Those Sunday afternoons when the whole clan is down are the only moments Des and I have to sit and read the paper... or, perhaps more likely, mow the lawn or chop veggies for the week ahead.  Either way, nap time is time we need and we count on and I think a few simple ground rules have laid the groundwork for our success with sleepers:

1. Resiliance.  As I mentioned, no nap was never an option here in the Lyons Den.  No matter how intense the whining, the crying, the screaming, the tossing of toys and taking off of sheets and on more than one occasion, the famed Triplet Diaper Toss, we never caved in.  They stayed in their cribs.  They cried it out.  And they eventually tired out.  And went to sleep.  Usually, anyway.  On the days where two hours went by and sleep never came, there was still quiet time.  And even if it wasn't so quiet, it was still two hours that I wasn't tripping over toddlers. Is it always easy?  No way.  But Is it worth it in the end to battle through?  Absolutely.
2. Rewards.  For now, the triplets are still in their cribs but, it won't be long before they are out and relishing the freedom of a "big boy bed."  When this day comes, I'm sure they will test us in the same ways Liam and Ciara did -- appearing every five minutes in need of a glass of water or another book or another kiss or hug or back rub or... you get the idea!  This one stumped us at first.  And our first attempt to regain control wasn't successful -- the route we initially took was the punishment/deprivation route.  As in "if you get out of bed one more time I will take away your (fill in the blank)" or "you won't be able to watch TV for a week!"  This proved totally ineffective and doubly frustrating as we were met with responses like "I don't like that anymore anyway!" or, worse yet, "I don't care!"  I expected to hear these words from a sullen teen, not a tired toddler.  Far more successful for us has been positive reinforcement.  As in "if you just lie down for an hour, you can watch a half hour of TV when you get up."  More often than not, by the time the hour rolls by, their eyes have rolled back in their heads, they are sweetly snoring and when they wake up quite possibly grumpy because they lost the battle, you'll be glad to offer them their consolation prize -- which in our house, is a half hour of The Backyardigans.
3. Repetition. When it comes to parenting, we've rarely had success the first time around (see above: force feeding bottles at midnight actually resulted in more spit up than anyone should ever experience!).  That's why we tend to live by the mantra, if at first you don't succeed, try try again!  Don't give up and before you know it, your little tot will be having sweet dreams... and hopefully you will too!