Tuesday Tip: The Birthday Reality Check

It's hard to believe that October is almost upon us.  It's even harder to believe that that in the next two weeks, our princess will turn five, our triplets will turn three and friendly Finnegan, our loyal lab has a birthday too.  

Our October is jam-packed.  To add to the insanity (oops, did I say that?  I meant festivity!), we also celebrate our anniversary in October and this year, will be spending a portion of these notable days in Ireland.  I know it's crazy but we are taking our five fair-skinned, freckle-faced tykes to the land of our origins in the midst of all this birthday bedlam and back to school mayhem.

So, what's a gal to do?  Truth be told, I do kind of feel like my head is spinning and I'm not quite sure how to pack a family of seven for ten days overseas... when I did the math and arrived at 70 pairs of underwear, I mentally shut down and decided to focus on birthdays instead.  

Four of our five tots share a birthday week and since three of them share not only their date of birth but also have identical DNA, making everyone feel special is always a bit of a trick.  This year, I've decided to follow the advice of one of my friend's Moms.  She recently told me that her Mom approached birthdays with common sense and candor -- according to her Mom, a birthday is an important date on the calendar but not the only date to make a fuss, to let someone be a prince or princess for a day.  From what I gather, her Mom was a pragmatist with a great sense of humor and a grounded sense of reality... all traits that I fear we sometime lose in today's quest for creating those perfect birthday memories.

All too often we seem to fret about where to hold the party, what to put in the goody bag, how many kids to invite, how to bake the perfect cake... the list goes on and on.  Unless, of course, you decide to just say no.  To decide that goody bags are unnecessary, kids aren't cake critics and the only thing that matters is a hearty dose of fun, love and sure, a gift or two as well.

I recently found myself getting caught up in all of this; after all, it's easier for me to make lists and strive for perfection than it is to pack all that underwear!  But really, who needs all this pressure for birthday? Isn't it supposed to be fun?  With this in mind, I ordered a few gifts from Amazon that I have wrapped and ready to take to Ireland for our princess and I have a few more ready for the triplets when we return.  I haven't sent invitations or planned parties... and I'm not sure that I will.  At five years old, Ciara would like to celebrate with her friends but at three, the triplets are still making friends and certainly won't hold it against me (I hope!) if we don't ring in their third year with a bonanza at Tumblebugs.

The moral of the story?  Birthdays are special days and should absolutely be celebrated in a big way.  But, what's big to a tiny tot may not be big to you... some time together, some stuff to unwrap and a messy cupcake will probably do the trick.  I'll give it a whirl and let you know how it works out... and, stay tuned for a recap of our adventures in Ireland... birthday and all!

Food as reward for tots -- good idea or not?

I recently came across the following video from Momversation which shares several moms' views on using food as a reward -- which seems to be among the latest controversial topics.

I grew up in a house where you didn't get dessert if you didn't finish your dinner.  The same is true now that I have children of my own.   And, just like when I was a kid, finishing your dinner doesn't necessarily guarantee dessert; dessert is served at the discretion of Mom and Dad based on numerous factors including behavior at the table, whether or not the homework is complete and, to be honest, if we have any goodies in the house!

Though I kind of wish I didn't, I do occasionally use food as a reward.  Our recent trials with potty training come instantly to mind... our two year old triplets get one M&M for #1 and two M&Ms for #2.  For us, this is a sensible system that works and we're amazed at how long our little guys will sit on the pot just for an M&M or two!

A few years ago, we were faced with bedtime battles every night.  After too many feeble threats about consequences, we decided to try the reward route instead; the promise of a few Froot Loops sprinkled on top of a hearty bowl of Cheerios was all it took to turn our nighttime tyrants into sleeping angels.
 

We aim for all things in moderation and if a treat here and there makes our lives easier, well, I'm all for it... after all, why not make life easier (and a bit sweeter!) when you can? 

Lessons learned from back to school night(s)

This week was a doozy.  Monday was the 2^nd grade back to school night.  Tuesday was the kindergarten back to school night.  Wednesday night was the parent orientation for CCD and for me, a wake-up call for just how much of my Catholic education I’ve forgotten. 

I’m told that as a kid, I used to sing church hymns in the tub but, it seems with the passing of the years, I’ve forgotten not only many of those hymns but some of the Catholic basics as well – like the fact that the Sacrament of Reconciliation and First Communion both apparently take place in the second grade. This was just one eye-opening takeaway from our back to back evenings back at school; here are a few more.

1.     Second grade is tough.  Especially the spelling homework -- not the words themselves but the routine of how they must be written, then alphabetized, then used in a sentence. There is also some very specific page folding and numbering involved; it seems a lot more complicated than the good old spelling bees I recall from my youth.   What I learned from one night in second grade is that following directions is key to success... with spelling and the rest of the curriculum!

2.     Kindergarten is lovely.  There are songs, coloring, snacks, blocks and nap time. All of this appeals to me, especially the nap time.  I learned here that I would like to go back to kindergarten and I still like to color. 

3.     Our second grader is a conniver.  Of course we knew he could be mischievous at home but we thought he was an angel-child when we let him spread his wings.  Not so. His teacher very kindly told us that he likes to push the boundaries, see what he can get away with – like trading baseball cards between reading and arithmetic for example.  That is not allowed.  And so I was reminded once again that it's important to follow the rules and breaking them has consequences... in this case, there will be no more baseball cards for our budding little trader!

4.     Our kindergartner has a great voice.  And she’s not afraid to use it.  This I knew.  At home she's been known to shriek and scream like she's possessed.  However, in school, she uses the power of her apparently well-tuned pitch quite differently.  She confidently stands in front of her classmates and sings her name in the attendance song,  softly crooning like a pro. Who knew?! I learned I should listen more closely and that there is a positive way to channel that voice!

5.      We have to purchase a navy suit and white tie.  Seriously.  This is a requirement for those aforementioned Sacraments.  On the upside, when you consider the hand-me-down possibilities with our up and coming Catholic triplets, it will surely be worn more than once.  But really?  A suit?  A white tie?!  I suppose I learned that sometimes you just have to smile and play the part.  In this case, my sweet (can you be both sweet and conniving?  I think so.) second grader will be assuming the role of a more fully-fledged member of our church community and I will be the proud mama. 

That, perhaps, is my biggest takeaway from three nights in the classroom; I am indeed a proud mama.  And, I still have a lot to learn!

Tuesday Tip: The Babysitter Checklist

Last night was our Back to School night for second grade.  Although the date was on our calendar for weeks, we found ourselves suddenly in need of a sitter.  All of our "regulars" had been snapped up by the moms who planned ahead.  I typically include myself with these uber-organized folks but somehow this time I dropped the ball.

At the last minute, we lucked out and got a lovely local high school junior. I don't think it's exaggerating to say she looked panic-stricken when she arrived on our doorstep at 6:30, wondering how she'd wrangle five tots to bed by 8:00.  I don't blame her; I think I often look the same way! 

It turned out to be a blessing that the triplets skipped their nap and were ready for bed earlier than usual;  the poor girl visibly brightened when I told her I'd tuck our trio of toddlers in before leaving so her only charges would be two tired grammar schoolers.  It struck me on the way out that we rarely leave our brood with people they don't know and even my own parents have been known to mix up the triplets and put them in the wrong crib.  With this in mind, I developed a Babysitter Checklist to ensure that sweet dreams are had by all -- and, perhaps just as importantly, that this nice new babysitter will one day return!

1. Set the Ground Rules.  Make sure your sitter knows (and follows!) your rules about bedtime, screen time and time outs.  For us, bedtime for the grammar school gang is between 7:30 and 8:00, they are allowed 30 minutes of TV (but no Angry Birds) and a time out is in order if they don't follow the ground rules!
2. Share your bedtime routine.  Is there a special blankie (or in our case, "WaWa") that Junior can't sleep without?  Is Goodnight Moon a bedtime mandatory?  Do teeth get brushed before or after the last trip to the potty?  These little details will help your wide-eyed sitter get your tots down for shut-eye right on schedule.
3. Leave emergency contact info.  This one may be obvious (and I'm pretty sure someone once gave me a nifty notepad with this info on it!) but don't forget to leave the details that will matter most if things take a turn for the worse -- your cell phone number, your husband's cell, the pediatrician's number and ideally the number of a trusty neighbor -- someone in walking or yelling distance that can come in a jiffy.
4. Share your expectations.  Do you want to come home from a nice night out (or a few hours at the local school, which is also quite nice but not exactly a romantic date!) to clean up mac and cheese and load the sippy cups into the dishwasher? If not, make sure your sitter knows the job requirements -- if they include cleaning up the kitchen or taking out the dirty diapers, you need to let her know.  If you don't, you can't blame her for ignoring them, just like you would occasionally like to do!
5. Sitters need ground rules too.  How do you feel about your sitter talking on the phone while the kids are up?  Can she (or he) use your computer?  Have access to your wireless code?  If your sitter is over 21, are you comfortable with her having a drink after the kids are tucked in?  Is it ok if the boyfriend or girlfriend comes over?  Addressing these issues before you head out for the night is sure way to ensure that a good time is had by all.  After all, you're finally in the position to say "As long as you're in MY house, you'll live by MY rules" -- although, I wouldn't recommend actually saying it out loud if you'd like your nice babysitter to come back!

Goodnight Moon, so long my sweet babies

Tonight I read Goodnight Moon for the one millionth time.  Give or take a few.  It feels like a million times but, I still love it.  I love the rapt attention it holds -- over our two year old triplets today and our four and six year old before them.  One of my favorite things is reading one page and letting them fill in what follows... 

ME:  Goodnight comb, goodnight brush...

THEM:  Goodnight old lady whispering HUSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Try as we might, none of our kids ever really got the hang of the "hush." As we were reading tonight, I had three little guys sprawled across my legs, finishing the sentences and looking up at me in wide-eyed wonder.  I realized then that it won't be long before they move on.  Before our tattered copy of Goodnight Moon ends up on the back of the bookshelf with other "baby" books like Guess How Much I Love You, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and other kiddie classics. 

I love the sweet innocence of these family favorites.  They will forever represent a time in our lives that is flying by far too fast.  

Tonight as I tucked my little fellas and "big kids" in, I thought about the many minor milestones we've passed -- the little things that may not be in a baby book but are etched forever in my heart.  Things like...

•  The sweet, funny, mixed-up things they say, like "Is me going to work with you Mommy?" or "I love the sunset moon!"
• Squeezing all five kids in the tub together -- this actually has been captured on film and typically elicits the response, "You need a bigger tub!"
• The way they all used to sleep with their rumps up in the air; now they lie sprawled out like drunken frat boys.
• Pot bellies.  Those big, round, post-meal bellies that provide a visual display confirming their tummies are full.  (If only this stayed cute as we grew older... like 40 years older!)
• Fascination with dump trucks, garbage trucks, firetrucks, any sort of construction equipment and "worker guys." 

I was once in a car with my boss and commented on a cool front-end loader; I couldn't resist, I am now just wired to notice the things my kids adore. While that incident was admittedly a bit embarrassing, it's amazing how these little people change the way we view the world.  I am so grateful for the ability to see things through their eyes.  And, I am equally grateful that all those little eyes are now closed... lulled to sleep by the melodic ending of Goodnight Moon -- in their words "Goodnight stars, goodnight air, good night noises all over the place."  Sweet dreams indeed.

A moment in time... our 5 "cubs" no longer fit in this tub!